Podcast Episode 18 - Empath Unplugged with Esther Bertram
How Do Empaths Recharge?
In this episode of Empath Unplugged, Esther Bertram shares how empaths can recharge and reconnect with their authentic selves. She offers practical tips and techniques for managing your energy, setting boundaries, and creating space for self-care. If you’re an empath who feels drained by the demands of the world, this episode is for you!
Transcription
00:01
Esther Bertram
Welcome to Empath Unplugged, a frequent release podcast of RAW and philosophical reflections on wellbeing, love and the meaning of life, brought to you by your host, Esther Bertram, founder of the Inzel, a rejuvenation island and community for empaths, expect topics such as philosophy, psychology, art, culture, spirit, science, holistic health, and the occasional beach fire song to be part of your wonder ride to your Oceanside escape. It's time to breathe in the salty air and bask in the soothing warm sun to relax, reflect and vibe, along with a fellow empath to rejuvenate. As most episodes refer to my 1-2-3 theory, I will provide an overview of it here. For new listeners, feel free to skip ahead 4 minutes if you know it already.
00:54
Esther Bertram
In my twenties I created 2 interlocking theories as I needed a framework for three reasons. One, to know how to optimise my holistic wellbeing, to have mutually beneficial relationships and letting go of toxic relationships and tangle nations with narcissists. 3 to have lots of time and energy to give in to my positive impact businesses and contribute to the world in a meaningful way. I've now spent two decades putting the theories into practice.
01:24
Esther Bertram
And they work, hence me now sharing them with the world. The 1-2-3 theory is a way to assess if you are optimised and able to give the most amount of love and energy to the world for the longest sustained time. The five fingered theory explores each domain of holistic health and works in conjunction with the 1-2-3 theory and helps you calibrate each department to have maximum output in your life. The 1-2-3 theory states you need to be in the order of the one. 2-3-1 is yourself. Two are your loved ones. Three is the rest of the world or your contribution.
02:06
Esther Bertram
When you nurture your holistic wellbeing first one, then you are better able to have mutually beneficial relationships too. And as a byproduct of this combination, you have so much excess energy to give three your contribution to the world. This order of the 1-2-3 ensures maximum output in all departments for the longest duration. Some people are three, two ones or three one twos, putting their cause, business or mission before anything else.
02:38
Esther Bertram
This isn't sustainable long term if you value health and relationships. Many empaths like I was in the past have the default setting of being a 2-1-3 giving to others before themselves, but that blocks their flow into their three and as a consequence they have little time and energy for their contribution. It is particularly dangerous to be a 2-1-3 when you are together with or around a narcissist as they are double one two threes or double one three twos where they put themselves first twice in an energy vamping way when an empath has it too at the start giving to others first.
03:20
Esther Bertram
This fits like a jigsaw into the narcissist double one. This bond is notoriously risky for empaths and often hard to break, so I'm on a mission to help. Empaths become strong one two threes or would I like to call super empaths so they can thrive in life, love and work and not get caught wasting years of their precious life into angulations. This podcast, the empath community I have built, and my book the 1-2-3 theory are all part of achieving this mission. To dive deeper into both theories, head over to the 1-2-3 theory.com where you can read or listen to my book.
04:03
Esther Bertram
Now that you have the basic gist of the 1-2-3 theory, let's begin this podcast. Hello listeners, welcome to podcast episode 18. How do empaths recharge? So the reason I'm doing this topic today is it's the absolute most common thing and theme and situation I come across in the world of empaths. Because it's so common for us to feel drained and exhausted, and there's multiple reasons for this which are going to a bit later.
04:39
Esther Bertram
So I felt it's important for us to revisit a variation on this theme. We have had a couple of podcasts that are about vitrifying your life and balancing your holistic wellbeing, but today's will be purely on the 1 objective to recharge, and that's talking about our. Energy recharging our energy so we can really shine bright as an empath. Recharging is personal to everyone has their own ideas and ways and activities. To fill your own cup but today's podcast, I'll offer strategies and ideas that you can start with as an idea and we'll make a mind map about it and you can personalise it and it can be a go to resource for yourself that you can develop and refine overtime.
05:31
Esther Bertram
So the aim of today's podcast, as well as everything I do in the world of supporting empaths from my tick tocks and the book I'm writing, the 1-2-3 theory, the empath community I've set up at the inzel, and even the Wellbeing Retreat Centre and event space I'm building at the Enzel actual physical space all share the same goal and that is to help empaths. Transform into becoming super empaths so you can thrive in every Department of life and we can then collectively play our part to shine brighter for the world.
06:13
Esther Bertram
And I think today's topic. Is at the core of that. It's really going into what it means to take our default setting of 2-1-3 or 3-2-1 and convert it into shining bright as a 1-2-3 and the absolute number one thing you can do is recharge and build up your energy sources and becoming a self sourced wellspring of energy. Because the objective from my perspective is to become a bit like our five year old selves. I've talked about that on previous podcasts, but it's a really good template for me to work towards.
07:01
Esther Bertram
And the reason for that is when we were five, we were really at this beautiful. Point of life where we had so much wonder and awe about the universe. We asked questions, we looked at the world like a playground. But we were old enough to have mastered our gross and fine motor skills and enough of our brain capacity to be able to be quite independent already. And if you look at 5 year olds, they are at this amazing. Curiosity level where they're just ready to take on the world. And not only that, their energy is so full on, they're like firing on all cylinders and they're ready for anything and they're open minded and open hearted to just go, all right, what can we make with this playground of life? And they can see it as a as a big infinite possibility universe.
08:04
Esther Bertram
And i love that objective because I still often. Feel like that as an adult and. But I feel like I've had to almost like onion layers. I've had to take off layers to get back to that to find out what are the elements that can give me that energy again, what are the elements that can take off my blinkers? So I'm no longer in a prescriptive path. What can I do to have that state of being because? After all, we are still children as adults.
08:40
Esther Bertram
And when you look from really from above, from the moon, and you look at our life span and you look at us as human beings that you know, we may live till 111 But it's just such a transient, very fast. Incredible miracle of a blip that goes on for us and I find it personally really sad when. Children grow up and, you know, they follow the path. They might, you know, get married and go to university, get a job. And all of those things are wonderful in themselves. But if they lose the spark and energy and vibrancy and curiosity about life, you can see adults that almost turn into a bit of.
09:33
Esther Bertram
A zombie energy where they they've dulled down because of the parameters of expected behaviour and expected path and. I think everyone has within them that. Curiosity and spark of a child and so often it's lost along the way due to so many factors and. If I can even help one person to reclaim that. State of perspective and remember that life is so short and even as adults, whatever your age, we should be able to skip and dance and laugh and cry and try new things and go on adventures and dress up and have fun and do all kinds of crazy things that are going to make us feel alive, then that is a great thing if I can manage to inspire.
10:37
Esther Bertram
That means what I'm doing is a success to me. Even if it's only one person. So today's podcast is all about taking back those layers, tuning in, having that time, giving yourself the permission. To look at who you are, what are those elements that you need to achieve that, and making a bit of a plan and a blueprint for how you can achieve it so. One big factor for empaths is our love of giving.
11:13
Esther Bertram
So even when we're 2-1 threes, I mean we're all comfortable as two one threes cause most of us have known that our whole life and. Making other people feel comfortable and letting them achieve their dreams and wishes and agendas, and we support that on one level, it feels really great to do that because we're in service and we know we're helping and we're giving and that feels wonderful. The only trouble is when we do that long term, it does deplete us and it drains us because we're not giving ourselves enough and.
11:50
Esther Bertram
But if we think longer term and we look at what we really want to do aren't from a higher perspective, it probably will be still giving like we want to be of service, we want to be. Are useful. And so I think the whole circle of growth for my theories and how I'm trying to be as an empath. It's almost like you go from being a 2-1-3 to becoming a really strong 1-2-3 but when you're a strong 1-2-3 You almost do the circle around again because you've got all this extra energy and love and inspiration.
12:33
Esther Bertram
You need to put it somewhere and you want to give it to the world. It's just what ends up happening. So you've kind of done a circle, so your three is just firing then your contribution and you're able to put it out there. But so you're giving, you're fulfilling your empath almost DN a of wanting to be a helper and a giver and even a rescuer. A but the big difference is the energy source is a place that is self renews and it doesn't go down if you imagine full energy is 10.
13:13
Esther Bertram
It's less just going down. Ohh, I've got to lunchtime. I'm at 8, I've got the afternoon, I'm at 6 and by the end of the day you're all the way down to one. It's less like that and it's more like you're at 10, but because of everything you do for your holistic wellbeing, you're at 11, you're at 12, you're at 13, you only need 10. So all of the eleven twelve thirteen fourteen, all as high as it goes, just overflows like a waterfall and that is the objective and that's what we're going to talk about today because I think we all want to feel amazing as number ones.
13:50
Esther Bertram
We want to have that overflow and be a waterfall of love. And when we do, this is the most amazing part of it, I think is. It's almost backwards. Rather than thinking, OK, I want, I really want a good relationship. I want to have wonderful friends. I want a wonderful partner, which often a lot of people focus on. I know I did in my twenties, especially because I'm a massive romantic and I was kind of chasing the Hollywood dream. But when you just focus on the one and becoming this wellspring.
14:30
Esther Bertram
It's a natural progression because. You just attract people into your life that are mutually beneficial and often they are one two threes as well because like attracts like. So the best thing you can do actually for improving relationships is focusing on the one. And ultimately, once you've got mutually beneficial relationships, that beautiful Infinity sign I see in my mind of being greater than the sum of the parts flows in and you just that's where you're in eleven twelve thirteen fourteen, you have all this energy for the world. And I think that is a much better state of being than being a door mat for people, being a whipping post for people.
15:15
Esther Bertram
Being in this constant state of feeling drained, and I know I've been there for all of those. I've been adormit, I've been a whipping post and I have been drained and it was all because my order of my numbers was 2-1-3 Or sometimes I've been 3-2-1 to be honest, because I've been very ambitious and driven with my work as well but. That time has gone. Now I am. Although I'm still very driven, I feel most of the time like a really strong 1-2-3 Hence me getting up in the morning and making this podcast for you.
15:52
Esther Bertram
Because I've just got this energy I need to burn and I want to help and I want to give back and help as many other empaths as I can. So our biggest issue as empaths, I think is the topic of energy. And this comes in various forms so. Number one. The energy we feel from everybody else, so we can't help it. We just feel because that's how we were raised.
16:22
Esther Bertram
We may have been through trauma and we had to tune into energy to know what was happening in another room. That could be dangerous. Some of us have just inherited it from parents, grandparents, great grandparents that had empathy. Really turned up the dial and it's just within us. Others have learnt it from a scenario. Maybe you were born blind, or maybe you've got very compassionate parents that just train you from a young age about crossing that bridge of empathy and having compassion for other people.
16:59
Esther Bertram
But the fact is, regardless of how you got to becoming an empath. We energetically feel. People places even objects on a on a very deep level and. That feeling of energy will we're left with the burden of in a way of interpreting it. Sometimes we just know straight away. Sometimes it's confusing and muddled because you have so much of it from different sources and it becomes this spaghetti ball of energies that you need to detangle like you might get to the end of the day.
17:38
Esther Bertram
And that's if feeling drained. Have you been out in the city or to a Christmas party or even at work or wherever? There's so much energy that's gone on until you've learned really strong boundaries. It's so common for us empaths to have this spaghetti tangle to sort through, and we can't hear our own inner voice because it's our inner voice is in there covered with spaghetti. So we just have to have that time out to kind of detangle it and sort it out and interpret it.
18:09
Esther Bertram
And then we also need to cleanse from it. So often we're drawn to having a bath or just time in nature or whatever it is to just cleanse that stuff. Out from us. And then finally, still on the topic of energy, we need to replenish it and we need to recharge it because just the it's like you when you're eat, when you eat food, you need food just to have the energy to digest the food.
18:40
Esther Bertram
It becomes this little cycle kept chasing its tail. It's like that with energy as well, like. We need energy just to process all the energy. So yeah, it's a very it is the number one topic or domain empaths need to. Understand and work with and learn how to, yeah, optimise. So that's why we're going into this today, and we probably will on other podcasts too, just cause it's absolutely the most important topic I think we could cover.
19:17
Esther Bertram
So from an external perspective, people. Especially people, more than places or animals. They always want things from us as empaths, and the reason for this is. Because they can rely on us to actually care. Because we care, even for strangers. We can't help it even when we've learned good boundaries. It doesn't take much for that switch to be flicked over. You might like, here's an example for me I might think, yeah, I'm a strong 1-2-3 and my boundaries are up and I'm energised.
19:54
Esther Bertram
I go out into the world if I go out and cross the street over there and see a really old man struggling to cross the road with all of his shopping. I mean you wouldn't be able to hold me back with a million horses to run over and like, get him safely across the road. And even maybe if it put myself in danger. I probably shouldn't do it if it put myself in danger. But I wouldn't even. It's so built in you as an empath, you don't even when you've done all your good self work, if a situation like that just appears in life, it's gonna be you.
20:33
Esther Bertram
You're gonna be well. I know for myself. I'll I will just go over there and help that person because I'll just. I won't be able to help it because I will feel their plight and their situation. And because of this actually and me knowing myself, even when I've done all the self work, I literally have to remove myself from the world quite a bit, hence me living on an island.
21:02
Esther Bertram
Because I think I'd spend my whole time. Yeah, fighting my own inner needs or just helping other people quite a bit. And I mean, that could be a wonderful thing as well and you could, you know, that could be your life path. But I've I feel like I'm more useful when I. Take time out and work out my own balances and choose carefully the outputs where I feel I can really help. And I think it's more effective for me to spend time on my well-being so I can make podcasts like this to then help other empaths as well so anyway, sorry for that sidetrack there but.
21:50
Esther Bertram
Because we feel that energy. And like I just said, like with strangers. It's not even their fault. That's our issue with not having strong boundaries yet. But the consequence of this is feeling really drained and exhausted very often. And this situation isn't ideal at all. And it really needs to change because. And the reason I know this is because I know it's preventable. It's not always easy, but it is preventable, even if it doesn't seem like that. And I feel like energy is almost our kryptonite, but it's also our biggest superpower as empaths, because once we harness it and we're no longer in a lacking of energy because that's when it's detrimental to us.
22:45
Esther Bertram
That surplus is so rich and beautiful and almost like has the power of a wildfire. When we are in the Eleven's twelves, thirteens and it's flowing. We can walk through life and. Almost just throw it out like petals to the world and those little sparks of those little flames. Can ignite in other people and help other people just because that's flowing out of us and we can be really effective as people once we can convert it to that. Yeah, so. As I said, my it's. I feel a little bit like I've I'm cheating the system in a way my personal method of. Escaping any energy vampires of any form.
23:39
Esther Bertram
You know, people, places, strangers by moving to an island because I feel like I've. When I'm there, I'm not there at the moment. I'm still at the Gold Coast, looking after little Frank, my new boyfriend. I love him. When I'm there, I feel like I'm fully protected energetically from depleting people and places. Well, not fully protected to be honest, because I'm actually the last two years have been the hardest. What can I say? Not in it. Yeah, not energetically. It was harder in my twenties I think, in a way. But I had more natural energy being younger. But I'm trying to build a house. At the moment for the last two years and.
24:30
Esther Bertram
Building in Australia where it's not as efficient as if I were maybe building in Switzerland where they're more planned and organised or? And in Queensland on top, okay, I'm building in Australia, alright, that's challenge of number one number two. I've chosen the state of Australia, Queensland, which is notoriously laid back. I think because of the sunshine. It's a bit like Spain. What I often thought it's the manyanna mentality, let's do it tomorrow, which I loved when I was in Spain.
25:02
Esther Bertram
It was so relaxed and. I like, I've coined at them in nyana mentality and that's absolutely wonderful when you're on holiday, but when you're trying to build a house, it's not ideal on top. Then the third factor 3. Building on an island comes with all kinds of logistical issues with barges, and there couldn't even have enough concrete on the cement truck to pour the slab in one go. And I I'm not even going to go into all the dramas the logistics causes. Factor 4 choosing to build in a worldwide pandemic when there's building shortages, builder and trady shortages. Yeah, I mean, it's the perfect storm of, let's just say, me learning how to be an extremely patient person.
26:02
Esther Bertram
I was already patient. I consider myself a patient person. But even this has tested me to the limits. Because living in a 8 by 8 metre square room that is just filled with cardboard boxes of all your stuff, which is an Airbnb for. A year or two when it was meant to be just a couple of months, it's quite a testing reality. so. Hence me doing these pet sits at the moment and having a bit of a break from my little cardboard room. Yeah, so even when I'm on an island, I'm challenged. Energetically, and I think then having techniques, no matter when you can set up your life to escape challenges, you'll always have challenges.
26:58
Esther Bertram
I think that's my point, my long way round of making a point. Life will bring it to you regardless of where you are and that's why in my twenties. I actually, I could have done. I could have really benefited from having. A more insight about my theories, that's when my theories were born, the 1-2-3 theory and five finger theory, because I was with a narcissist and needed to escape and needed parameters to not end up there again in life.
27:31
Esther Bertram
And in a way I wish I could go back to there and tell my 20 something year old self how important holistic wellbeing is. Because I would have fast tracked a lot of what I went through, but saying that it's just part of life experience, isn't it? And I am here because of everything I've been through before and although. I could have said the theories to my 20 self, which I mean they were born then so I was already saying it.
28:05
Esther Bertram
But i could have given them given myself more context of how to implement it. Like the book that I'm writing. This is almost like a manual of okay, here it is, but step by step this is what you need to do. I think personally I still needed to. You know, everyone learns at their own pace. I still needed to do my practical examination for them over the last decades to really solidify the learning so. I'm going to give you some tips that I would like to have given to my 20 year old self that maybe help you to fast track your ability to recharge.
28:51
Esther Bertram
So in a past podcast, if you're a new listener, Hello new listener. By the way, welcome to Empathy Unplugged podcast. I should have really done that at the start of the episode. But anyway, if you've been listening to any of the other episodes, you may have heard me talking about getting a blank book. Feel yourself. It's a beautiful. Place that you can give yourself time and space to invest in yourself and this is a really good. Method for prioritising the one.
29:27
Esther Bertram
Giving yourself self love and having a physical form of a book is a beautiful thing to do because you're. Physically showing yourself that you are worth that time with yourself so. The exercise we're going to do is in the blank book. If you don't yet have one, I recommend and going and getting one. And get a really beautiful one, not just the cheapest you can find, because. It's a representation of your own self worth, so invest in it and get like the one I last bought. I think it was 40$ maybe even 50$ and it's an Australian dollars and it's all it is blank paper, but the cover, it's like a four. It's beautifully covered.
30:11
Esther Bertram
The quality of the paper is really nice and it's a beautiful object on its own and that's something that's going to stay with me for my whole life and. I think it's worthy to invest to get something really nice anyway. So once you've got your blank book, we're going to draw a recharge plan, and it's going to be a diagram that you can decorate and revert back to whenever you feel depleted. And it's going to be your own five finger theory, recharge hand map, garden of holistic health.
30:47
Esther Bertram
So we'll just give it a more simple name than that. That's just what it will function as. But you can ride at the top of the page how I can recharge. So it's your mind map and mind map how you can recharge. Now just put your hand on there so your non dominant hand so. For me, I'm right-handed so I'd put my left hand down on the page and justice trace around the edge of your hand to and have your fingers apart. Make sure your fingers are apart so you have a nice spread out hand shape because we need space to write around the fingers.
31:27
Esther Bertram
So just trace around your hand. And write the big title at the top. How I can recharge now? A very interesting segue that I'm going to go into before we map out some recharging plans is. Just the action of writing these down is already going to recharge you, even if you don't implement the items that you write down. Purely taking them from thought, putting them into words and putting them on the page. Is already going to affect areas of your brain that are connected to those activities, so there's been a few studies in the world of sports where they've hooked up.
32:17
Esther Bertram
Sports people to brain. I don't. Whatever you call them, brain. Ohh gosh you know, obviously not what my brain is doing right now, but. Devices that can read what's going on in the areas of the brain that are activated and when the sports people go into themselves and imagine themselves. Just say they're doing a fast run and they're imagining the 50 metre Sprint and they're going through every motion in their mind of how they set up, how they start, how they take off, how they run, how they optimise their legs and their feet and their knees and how they just run to their best ability the areas of the brain that are activated.
33:03
Esther Bertram
When they do it in real compared to imagination are actually the same and. A big part of their training is this visualization, and it's another proof about the power of intention and mental models of reality, because so much happens first within our head and our crazy interpreting machine that goes on and takes in the stimulus externally and interprets it. When we, for example in this exercise, purely just writing it down and imagining yourself doing the recharge activities that you give to yourself will already be activating parts of your brain that will be activated when you actually do it.
33:50
Esther Bertram
So even if you don't have time, or you don't have the space, or you don't have the access to those items, it will still be helping. So that's why I say this is a worthy. Endeavour, regardless of if you make the time to do the final part which is doing those activities and. You'll find from also doing this it's almost like a self audit as well which we can use the five finger theory for multiple domains of life. So when we're looking at compatibility with someone or even our work and our purpose. You can really use it to just check in with yourself which area you need to focus on more, because often we're so busy in life just acting and reacting and having just surrendering to the demands of everyday living.
34:41
Esther Bertram
We're not even in tune with the true needs that we have within and just taking this time is already a good initiation of that, because once you do that, life will start showing you more and maybe even more. Synchronicities will start appearing. That it connected to you having that reflection, that inner reflection that's really needed. And justice reflecting in itself is a very recharging thing to do. So I will start with if it were me. Doing my recharge map. One of the most recharging things for me.
35:24
Esther Bertram
Is the elements like the four elements fire, air, earth and water so. On the fingers. First, let's put in the different finger names. So inside the pinky finger, put mind. Ring finger write the word heart middle finger write the word inside the finger body. Point a finger, right the word soul. Thumb right purpose. Or if you're left-handed and you've done it on the right hand, just do it the other way round so you can start from left to right if you want to. It doesn't really matter, just you have to have one finger and thumb per category, so you've got mind, heart, body, soul and purpose.
36:11
Esther Bertram
So if it were me. Doing my recharge plan, the first thing I would put in is the elements because they recharge me so much and that's why at my wellbeing retreat Centre I'm making I'm having quite an elemental theme with Fire, Air, Earth and water because I find. These simple things are yet to me, they're just the best. So I would put down undermined, I would put fire. I'd just write the word fire. Ah, and this is because it's a very beautiful thing. To let go of mental constructs or things that are mentally holding you back.
36:52
Esther Bertram
Writing them on a piece of paper, throwing them into the fire, to symbolically release them and let them go is a beautiful. Thing you can do to help you recharge because you're making space for yourself and you're releasing those. Obstacles that are holding yourself back. So I'd put in fire. I would put air next to heart because I find. Wind and the breeze and you get that a lot at the island. It's really good for blowing away those emotions that it's like the weather. It's like the winds of change have come to shift the emotions and often their emotions you've picked up from others away. Next to body I would put Earth and grounding.
37:39
Esther Bertram
We went into that on podcast last week on episode 17 about grounding yourself. So I would put barefoot walking and grounding under body. Because when you get your feet in the ground or even gardening, when you really touch the earth, it's so you literally recharging. That's your physically getting energy from the earth. Next to soul I would put water. Now you could do any kind of bathing salt.
38:17
Esther Bertram
Salt bars or swimming or. Dancing in the rain, any kind of shower or bath. Although this is also good for emotions and body and mind actually waters like soothing for everything. Also purpose. I find that on your soul level it it's. I guess because it's so intrinsic to who we are, we are made of 70 % water and I think. We just feel our place within the universe when we're around or connected to water, because we are water. We are a big part of water, so it's very good for getting on the level of the reality of who we are and where we are.
39:05
Esther Bertram
And that's a really good thing on the soul level, to feel one with the universe. And purpose. I would actually put all four of the elements via air, earth, and water, because when I'm involved with any of these, like sitting by a fire. And looking into the flames, I'm reflecting. It's a perfect spot for reflecting. When I'm feeling the sea breeze on a nice walk. I'm able to reflect again when I'm swimming in the sea and feeling the salt water on my skin. Or looking into a lake, you're able to reflect. And same goes for. All of the elements fire, air, earth.
39:57
Esther Bertram
The other one I missed. When you walk or garden or feel that earth, you're able to reflect. It gives you the time and for purpose. A lot of unless you're actively doing the purpose, whatever that is, your core skills and passions or might be your work or however you're contributing to the world. It's almost like there's two phases for me. One is the action, it's so it's putting it out there. The other is the planning and the reflection. So they're half and half of the same action. So there's the introspection, what goes on within where it comes from the source, almost like the subconscious drives of it.
40:39
Esther Bertram
Then you've got the conscious, the front, the action, the expression. Same with creativity. So when you go into the elements. For the purpose of reflection. On the subject of purpose, it gives yourself the time to allow those creative drives to stir and emerge. Almost like you've planted the seed, you're giving the space to see what grows. And that is a beautiful way to recharge, because without that space, you'll just act, and you'll act and you'll act. And it may not be the most effective action because it's not connected to a deeper, authentic true.
41:29
Esther Bertram
Source of you yourself, and I'm personally I'm prone to acting, acting, acting cause I like to feel like I'm doing things and so I'm actually giving this advice to myself as much as I'm sharing it with you right now is that. Giving ourselves that time is so important. I'm finding it's much easier on the island for me to come down and. Relax into. The activeness of nonaction, because it is an active thing.
42:01
Esther Bertram
Reflection is active, and when I reframe it like that, I can almost tick off. Oh, I'm not being lazy, I'm actually being active. I know it's just my internal scripts or who knows, just the nervous energy I need to let out. I'm able to accept the space better. The older I get, the better I am anyway. They're what I would put as my main four elements. But you could go further into them and let's just have it. I'll just, I'm gonna quickly go through these cause I don't wanna take up too much time just to give you more ideas, but it's really important you tune into yourself and fill in.
42:41
Esther Bertram
Activities that you know for you will fill your cup, so it'll be very personal to you, but just keep them in the separated dimensions. Ohh sorry domains because that way you can check in with yourself. If you're feeling really drained physically, you'll be able to go back to your mind map and quickly have a look. Even just looking at the things that you've filled in that will fill you up will already start that process as I mentioned before so.
43:11
Esther Bertram
It needs to be tailored for you, but I'm just going to give you a quick few ideas. So on the on the mind finger. I would put things like solitude, having time out without any kind of digital input, so having that pure distraction free time. Spending time. Doing mindfulness practice and that can be an everyday activities. That could be even when you're vacuuming, that can be walking your dog. It can be anything you do doing it so incredibly mindfully in the moment because that releases you from the burdens of the past and the future.
43:55
Esther Bertram
And they are just made-up concepts in our head anyway, so it gives us that. Pure concentration on the time and that's very recharging when we're able to do that. So it is a practice. If you need to learn about mindfulness practice there is million resources online. But that is really good for your mental space. Things like yoga. Giving yourself permission to let go of your to do lists for a moment. And actually I know I've been doing this meditation at the moment through my aura ring about deep sleep cause I sometimes struggle. I'm a really good sleeper and I dream a lot. But deep sleep I've struggled with the last whiles, probably because of this building process.
44:43
Esther Bertram
But I found the deep sleep meditation I've been doing and it really works and I'm getting feedback from my ring app saying it's working cause I'm getting deep sleep. But he says something on there that really strikes me every time. And it's like. He says OK, the end of the day has happened. And tomorrow is not here. And just by him saying that, he's almost put up these, this little boundary, this little fence to stop the rest of the day. That's just happened. And stop tomorrow. It's not here and just this mental construct.
45:24
Esther Bertram
It's really powerful for me when I've been doing it the end of the day and I. I'm it. It's almost like he's put a little beautiful fence around that moment and it I'm happy and safe there. I don't need to worry. I mean, I'm lying in bed. I can't do any of my To Do List anyway tomorrow. He's right. It's not here yet. So why would I even think about it when I can just let go? And it's been phenomenally transformative for me because after months and months and months where my ring just tells me I'm never getting the deep sleep.
46:01
Esther Bertram
I'm now consistently getting it most nights, so it's just it's amazing what you can do with reprogramming your mind. Anyway so. Well, let's move on to heart, so things you can put around the heart that can really recharge you. It's a lot about connection with people or places or animals like your heartspace filling that cup. So connecting with other empaths is a really beautiful thing. If you don't have an empath community yet, feel free to come over and join ours.
46:33
Esther Bertram
It's very chilled out. There's not too much action going on, but they're really beautiful people. Just head over to the insel.com or just go to ampathunplugged.com and there's drop down from all my links where you can join our empath community. There's about I think 60, so empaths, a lot of them. Our healers and light workers and justice, really lovely people from all over the globe. And another thing you can do is spending time in nature or with animals.
47:05
Esther Bertram
A really beautiful thing that's recharging is calling a friend you haven't spoken to in ages, especially if you have a deep history together. So just calling them it will fill your heart and you'll feel recharged after that. Another thing is flowers. Empaths are really affected by fresh flowers, so you could buy some for yourself. I prefer not cut flowers because I get sad that they die. So you could buy a pot that's growing that has flowers already blooming. And invest in them for you and put them on your shelf or near your bed, knowing that it's symbolising your love yourself, love for yourself and every time you see them.
47:50
Esther Bertram
Remind yourself how much you love yourself and you give yourself permission to give to yourself and they can be a beautiful symbolic. Reminder of you becoming A1 in your 1-2-3 a strong one. Another thing in the heartspace you can do is forgive somebody that you haven't yet forgiven. Now there have been some scientific tests of what happens in your brain when you truly forgive. And it's one of the most fascinating things I remember listening to vision. In code of the extraordinary mind, that's quite an interesting book. And he talks about going on this retreat with about forgiveness and the power of that and.
48:44
Esther Bertram
If you go through that process, it will recharge you, and it will also create space within you, because that's taking up space somewhere in your body or your mind or your heart. This holding on to the grudge or anger or pain or whatever it is within you if you haven't forgiven them. That belt that's in your body somewhere, so if you can go into that and release it, obviously that's going to create a space.
49:12
Esther Bertram
It's like clearing out your wardrobe because you've been buying too many things at charity shops when you finally let them go. You will have more wardrobe space to put something of true value that you really want in there. So that's another thing you can do. Then let's move on to body. What you can do, as I said earlier for the MPR for the elements, is any kind of bathing with salt, sea salt and nothing. Internally drink green juices. So create a juice where you have all kinds of greens that will fully recharge you on a cellular level. Walking barefoot, we went into that last week. You can work with crystals as well.
50:00
Esther Bertram
Empaths are very connected with energy of everything and crystals can be very powerful. For that you can exercise. We all know how much that creates positive endorphins. And really recharges you, although it might seem stressy at the start. Choose an exercise that fills you with joy and. Chemically, you will feel recharged from that. Another thing that recharges me and mum's the same cause she's from Finland so I'm half finished is having a sauna.
50:32
Esther Bertram
That's a very. Recharging physical thing you can do. It's also a mental and emotional thing, but physically it's a wonderful renewing thing. Most Finns and my family have them few times a week. Another thing is massage. I had a beautiful one just when was that? Friday the system, amazing. And, that's a physical way to recharge because it moves energy around. Another thing that's a nice project you can do is redesign aesthetically an area of your house and make it a project where you decide, okay, that room. I'm going to make my lovely cuddly, wonderful physical self love space.
51:21
Esther Bertram
You might get fluffy white cushions or put on new wall art. But it's the concept of giving yourself permission to invest in that with time and money to make it just amazing for you. So you might have an old bit of furniture that you've just, you know, you've got. Ohh, that'll do. That's fine. It it's my dressing table and I don't know, I don't want to change it, but making that decision, okay, I'm going to get myself the best dressing table because I am worth it. Might not. Do you mind? I'll have to spend that much money you go on marketplace or whatever, but making the intention I'm going to improve this area of my house so it mirrors the inner work I'm doing on myself.
52:10
Esther Bertram
That can be a very therapeutic process and even if you don't have the money to do that now, the first thing you can do is make A Little Dream board, cut out things that you see from magazines and make what you will have in the future and it will help that come into reality much faster. I've made a few in my life and they work so fast. Dream boards are just phenomenal with helping you set intentions, but already writing these down will help it bring it into reality.
52:40
Esther Bertram
Another thing you could do for your body is. Making a beautiful vegan recipe. I've been vegan for 23 years now, so. I'll just i know that making vegan food is very recharging. There's a lot of vitamins and minerals usually, but when you are not vegan, sometimes it's a bit of a mental barrier because you think ohh what can I make but allow yourself the time to find a recipe online that even an intricate recipe that has weird spices and whatever.
53:13
Esther Bertram
And go on a mindful shopping trip and buy those spices intentionally and. Enjoy that process of nourishing your body in a beautifully mindful way and if you want to dive deeper into. What it means to value the practice? Just look up Japanese tea ceremonies and have a look at how or even when they do this beautiful flower arranging. You might think, Okay, to arrange some flowers is just a short term thing. But there are people that spend in Japan. I've watched a documentary the other day. They spend their lifetime. On perfecting this art, and I don't think they ever believe they get to perfection, but it's the process of refinement and giving the time and the space to this mindful.
54:14
Esther Bertram
Slowing down and going into the details of the action, which is. A phenomenally beautiful thing. I admire it cause I don't do it enough. I'm a galloping Unicorn all the time. Which has its own benefits, but when I see people doing that. Taking that time, I admire it so much I try to do it and I advise anyone to try to do it so you can do that with a recipe. Don't think so much about the outcome, but think about the process and allow each of those moments to unfold and enjoy them when you're chopping the onion, when you're shopping for that one weird spice that you need. Just slow down.
54:57
Esther Bertram
There's no future, there's no past. You're just in that moment for the sake of it. And yeah, it's yeah, if you want to dive into it, we're looking into Japanese tea ceremonies and you'll get a bit more of that feel of what it means to. Go into that allowance. And let's move on to soul. I see soul creative expression either doing it yourself or. Being a participant going to watch a show or a concert, that's a really good thing for. Feeling your place within the universe that's outside of the normal realm. Because creativity is a beautiful soul expression for yourself or from the people who have created it and put it out there for you.
55:49
Esther Bertram
So you could do something like learn guitar. If you've never learned guitar, I have a step by step guitar. Course for beginners that you can. If you go to empathunplugged.com you can Scroll down. And because I did that for quite a few years and I made a course that's very easy for beginners to get fast results. So if you've always wanted to learn guitar, I recommend checking out the course. You could read spend time reading a beautiful book, listening to music. Reflecting on your place in the universe and the aware of existence, that's a really good way to get connected on a soul level. You can also watch an amazing movie. I watched one recently.
56:38
Esther Bertram
It's called everything, everywhere, all at once. If you like mind bending movies, go and watch that was pretty amazing from my perspective. Amazing work of art. And yeah, if you're really stuck on a soul level for creativity, head over to the inzel. Dot com and go to the Tea house section. I've put all my creative things I've made there like November Fox, the book I wrote my music. All the kids books I've written and you might get some ideas or you can read November Fox that takes you on a mind journey.
57:15
Esther Bertram
Through dimensions of holistic health, which is all based on the theories that I talk about in the podcast. And that's an that's a way to nourish your soul. If you don't feel like writing a book yourself or playing an instrument yourself, you can go on someone else's creative journey. So feel free to head over there. Then let's look at purpose. One thing is really good if you're if you're not yet running a business that is a high impact, positive contribution impact business or any kind utilising your skills or passions because you're still too one three and you're just caught up doing your normal reality and you just haven't yet got the time and space to even think about contributing to the world.
58:08
Esther Bertram
My advice is to just. Start researching one of your skills or passions or hobbies you've always wished to do, just so you've always wanted to make jewellery or learn a quirky instrument. Just begin that process, even if it's just researching. Okay, just say you wanted to make necklaces you've always wanted to make necklaces. So just go online and do a course. Start a course on making necklaces and what happens in your brain because we run these mental checklists.
58:41
Esther Bertram
If it's always been in the back of your head. I've always wanted to make necklaces. I've always wanted to learn guitar. I've always wanted to learn how to be an Acrobat. Once you even just begin that process, it's almost like you can tick off your the ticket off on the list and it's it'll help you feel recharged because it's like, ohh, I finally got to that myself. I finally got to my shopping list of sole development and I could begin to tick it off and that will recharge you because you know you're giving to yourself. Anyway, that's a quick summary. You can come back to your mind map as much as you want and just fill it in.
59:24
Esther Bertram
It's like a garden. It's your garden, your recharge garden. Anytime you think of something, you might come across a brand new thing that you never even thought of and you've worked out that recharges you. Go and put it on your mind map, because it'll be. A resource you can always rely on. And as I said before, the more you do that synchronicities will probably start happening. So just say you wrote down. You wanted to make necklaces. It'll it's not surprise. It won't be surprising if next week you're don't know, you're just online and suddenly something pops up saying. Hey, you want to learn necklace making? We have a new course just around the corner from where you live.
1:00:07
Esther Bertram
Things like that start happening the more you set intentions and let go. If you want to learn about intention setting, go and listen to the podcast. I did about that, but it's quite funny that's happened with my dream boards before. It's on one way and one hand. It's very mind blowing how quickly things like that can manifest but. Yeah, don't be surprised if synchronicities happen. The more you bring forward from your subconscious into your conscious onto the page, you're initiating a process and just doing that your energy will start refilling so.
1:00:50
Esther Bertram
As I said at the start, like if we aim that we have a filled up cup, so you fill the cup and it's up to number ten. What we want to aim for is that that's overflowing, so it's always a 10 at the minimum and everything above that is eleven twelve thirteen forty. That's all this extra flow and it flows out of you. And a very common thing for emphasis, and I know I used to be there, is we live in our. Reserve sections down between zero and three. So we've used it all up. We've used it all up. We live in this often. We have well, I know I used to you live in the zero to three and you get so used to.
1:01:31
Esther Bertram
It's almost the reserve tank of petrol when you run out. What happens? Your car stops and you can't go anywhere till you get a jerrycan and a. Super siphon and fill it up. So you don't want to do that because as an empath, if you're living in the reserves of the zero to two, the only way it recharges is maybe if you get a night's sleep, you might wake up in the morning and you feel like a three or a four because you had a good night's sleep, but by lunchtime you're back down to it too, because you're still being a 2-1-3 And if you're not careful and you only live in the reserves? When we arrive at zero, that is full burnout, and burnout leads to physical issues that it's really hard to like.
1:02:23
Esther Bertram
You get really set back then because you know you've burnt out. And it takes even longer to get back up there, so try not to live in reserves. Try to fill your cup up to 10. Keep filling it until it overflows, and then all of your departments. You'll be closer, it'll be just overflowing, and you'll be really as close as you can get as an adult to your 5 year old self and if you continually effectively an ongoingly recharged like this if it becomes in your body memory and you go back to your mind map and you just do these activities or even think about the activities and prioritise your own self love and number one.
1:03:07
Esther Bertram
It is. Of the fastest way to convert from being a 2-1-3 to a 1-2-3 it's just this is the surefire way to just cut through your supreme birth quest and justice. Get there because when you are overflowing you are a radiant 1-2-3 and you will be a self sourced wellspring of like a fountain of energy. And your loved ones and the world can bathe in that overflow. And you're not codependent or you're not reliant and you're not a door mat. You're not a whipping post. You are a beautiful fountain. And that is a wonderful way to live life.
1:03:52
Esther Bertram
Because what will happen is at the very end of your life, you won't have regrets. You will just feel like you lived to the maximum and. That's honouring all the other sperms that didn't make it because you were the fastest and you've decided in your life, OK, I'm going to honour them, I'm going to live to the Max, I'm going to learn how to be a flowing waterfall and I'm going to just. Get the most out of this life and give the most out of this life and that's a wonderful objective to have.
1:04:23
Esther Bertram
And yeah, I hope this podcast has helped you a little bit towards that. And I'm going to give you, I always do story time or song time at the end of these podcasts. And I haven't done a story time for a while. So this is a little excerpt from November Fox, my novel I wrote about. An empath vegan Rockstar who travels dimensions of consciousness to understand a teleporting Rubik's Cube and that represents the five finger theory, mind, heart, body, sole, purpose and facing shadows.
1:04:57
Esther Bertram
And at this part of the story, she's been through her first testing quest, a really dark forest and facing a nemesis. And she's come out the other side and she arrives at this fortress and I have quite a few archetypes and like from the tarot cards in the story and she meets this high priestess. At this fortress, it's called the fortress of Forgotten Fish and the high priestess she used to be at 2-1-3 and she was in a codependent relationship and. She was fully heartbreak broken. So when you are in when you're a 2-1-3 and you're in a codependent relationship and if it breaks apart, you can be pretty damn heartbroken.
1:05:45
Esther Bertram
Because you're not a fountain of love. You're not a wellspring of your own energy. It kind of dependent on the other. And she talks about it like being an arch compared to a fountain and. Yeah, she she's also talks a lot, which I often talk about at the world mirroring what we are within. And this fountain they arrive at where the fish live. Is a symbol, a symbolism of this wellspring that I encourage myself and everybody else to work towards being because that's.
1:06:24
Esther Bertram
It's the most sustainable energy source as well as independent. You're not reliant on others and therefore it can be really expensive. So if you find another. A fountain and you are two fountains near each other. That the energy is greater than the sum of the parts anyway, so I think that's a really good spot to end. Today's podcast is. Arriving at the fortress of Forgotten Fish. Emerald Moss patched the ancient stone wall of grey, black and sandy coloured limestone. One spot in particular reminded November of a big heart shimmering with large dew drops. Ivy ran rampant over most of the walls and the weathered stone archway. Its tendrils extended in every direction, wriggling almost as if it were growing before their eyes.
1:07:23
Esther Bertram
November marvelled at the somewhat surreal landscape, noticing on the far side of the quadrant the source of the fog and the music. They lay a pond with a harp shaped fountain pulsing with sound and misty light. It seemed to be putting on a show just for their arrival. The instant she pointed it out to Claus, the afternoon rays hit the mist at the precise angle required to create a beautiful rainbow.
1:07:51
Esther Bertram
November skipped over to the strange construction to inspect it more carefully. Goodness me, look at all those fish, she exclaimed, peering into the pond. I think they're the ones making the music. Klaus chuckled. School of rock. Clever Klaus, she giggled. What makes a difference between a piano and a fish? I don't know. Tell me. November sat down on the stone edge of the pond. You're contuine, a piano. Except you can never tuna fish. Haha, very funny. Those fish are playing beautifully.
1:08:33
Esther Bertram
I bet they are singing about love. November watched their rainbow colours sparkling under the surface of the water. Thank goodness we've arrived. What a quest. We've been walking forever. Welcome to the fortress of Forgotten Fish. Came a soft, soothing voice. November jumped to her feet. To find a graceful giant lady in a Princess dress descending the stairs like an Angel from above. I am the high Priestess Betty, daughter of King Hope.
1:09:09
Esther Bertram
And I am humbled to welcome you to my castle. You are indeed November Fox, are you not? The priestess looked kindly into November's eyes, warming her heart. Yes, your Highness, I am she. The priestess inspected joy, still held tight in November's grip. So then, you are now a keeper of the cube. All is in order. She said with a slight nod of her head. Who, may I ask, is your delightful companion klaus Karnika, Klaus replied, emphasising his royal surname king. Well, I am exceptionally pleased that you are both here. Do come inside. That has take tea together.
1:10:01
Esther Bertram
November started to climb the oversized stairs following the priestess, with Klaus and the cake close behind. May I ask, Your Highness why your home is called the fortress of Forgotten Fish? It is such an odd name for such a Grand Castle. The priestess stopped and turned around. Yes, my dear. I agree it appears rather bizarre at first mention, but it is more earnest than it may seem. She clasped one hand gently within the other. Do you by chance remember Blunder, brother of Flounder, or Millie, sister of Free Willy? November shook her head.
1:10:43
Esther Bertram
Or perhaps Toby tick, uncle of Moby Dick. Again, November shook her head from side to side without saying a word. Or surely you'll recall Remo, cousin of Nemo. Or even sweet Dipper, great grandfather of Flipper. No, November replied. I don't remember any of them. That is exactly the point, my dear. All of these beloved fish and countless others are missing and forgotten by everyone apart from me, of course. The fortress is an orphanage for fish goodness. I've never heard of such a place. Yes, the situation is rather upsetting and some have lost their family to show business and Hollywood, and for others they are schools are under threat from fishermen around the world in search of fish finger material.
1:11:36
Esther Bertram
My darling fish come here to find sanctuary. But, your Highness, question November. Are they not remembered when your visitors arrive? I do not receive guests. You two are the first, since. She hesitated. Ever since I decided to Foresake Human Company apart from you. My dear Highness, may I ask why? November spoke gently, sensing it was a delicate subject. The priestess replied in a soft voice. My dear child. Was there a time you lost someone you loved more than you loved the sun and the moon? November thought for a moment no. Your Highness, I never knew my parents. I love my dog, honey, but I haven't misplaced her. I'm quite sure I've not yet experienced the kind of loss you talk about.
1:12:35
Esther Bertram
Okay, let me rephrase. Try to imagine two types of love. One is like the fountain over there. Imagine you are the fountain and your love is the emerging water. It flows from you to all who wish to bathe in it shores. You are free and rely on nobody. You give from an inner well of strength. Ok The high priestess then pointed to the Ivy coated archway in the back of the garden.
1:13:06
Esther Bertram
Now imagine you are 1/2 of the arch and the person you love is the other. The love can flow through the Ark, but when 1/2 leaves you crumble and are nothing more than a pile of broken rocks. You require the other simply to have structural integrity. The priestess gazed at the arch like a traveller at the harbour, realising the ferry that had just left the dock was the last one going home ever. Well, my sweet child. I shall never be half of an arch again. The descent from the fall hurt more than breaking all of my bones. I also had to release two of the dearest things in the world to me.
1:13:53
Esther Bertram
She turned her head towards the fountain. Now I choose to be a fountain of love. For that. I need no one. My fish are perfect companions in the seas of my soul. You may understand this more when you are older, my dear. The priestess kindly gazed into November's eyes. Life is indeed a mirror ball, reflecting back all that resides within us. She caressed the side of November's face with her big soft hand before turning to continue up the stairs. Enough of this chitter chatter, let us take tea now. I do hope you like Earl Grey tea, as that is all I keep.
1:14:38
Esther Bertram
November's eyes were wide with wonder. She turned around to Klaus who had a big grin and a sparkle in his eye which had nothing to do with the priestesses words. He had just checked his timekeeper. It was then I wondered to myself whether I was more a waterfall or an arch. I guess Tik tok will tell. Did you know the central voussoir of an arch is called the Keystone? I have designed many an arch. Perhaps that is what I am. A keystone. What are you? That was November Fox following Joy, my novel about following your dreams into worlds of holistic health through different dimensions.
1:15:23
Esther Bertram
And if you want to listen to the whole audio book, head over to November fox.com Or you can also go to empathunplugged.com and Scroll down and. Choose the link that says read November Fox. I recommend the audio book version because he did a really good job with the narration, but it also comes in other forms. And with that my beautiful, lovely flowing empaths who are beautiful wellsprings of self sourced energy.
1:15:53
Esther Bertram
I'm going to leave you with that vision and hope that today's podcast has brought you a step closer towards being a very strong 1-2-3 and I send you all big love and hugs and I look forward to our next chat in the next podcast. Have a beautiful week and until next time, bye you've been. Listening to Empath Unplugged, a frequent release podcast of RAW and philosophical reflections on wellbeing, love and the meaning of life, brought to you by your host Esther Bertram, founder of the Insel, a rejuvenation island and community for empaths.
1:16:32
Esther Bertram
For more information or to join the community, head over to the enzel.com th e, i n s e l dot com if you have found value from this episode. And would like to become a patron to support future episodes and gain access to exclusive content only available to patrons. Head over to empathunplugged.com and sign up to be part of the inner circle. Thank you for listening. Have a beautiful and rejuvenating week. Till next time, bye. Today's episode is sponsored by Step by Step guitarlessons.com You'll go to course if you're an absolute beginner and want to learn guitar. I have taught hundreds of students with my fast track method from ages 6 to 80 with lifetime access.
1:17:24
Esther Bertram
These self-paced online lessons mean you can learn in the comfort of your own home. The Bitesize lessons are very easy to follow and the platform keeps track of your progress. This course is tailored for absolute newbies. And is much more effective than random YouTube videos or learning from your Uncle Steve who may not have the patience required to teach at a true beginner's pace. You are guaranteed to get fast results and if you don't like the learning style, there is a 30 day, no questions asked money back guarantee. Plus it only costs the price of two in person lessons, but you get over 50.
1:18:02
Esther Bertram
There are several studies that prove that learning a musical instrument is the only activity to light up almost. All areas of the brain at once. Making music has the power to soothe your soul, heal your body, and bring you true joy. Not to mention, if you've always wanted to be a Rockstar, learning guitar is your ticket to do so if you're ready to learn or want to gift it to a friend, head over to step by step guitarlessons.com and enroll today.
