Podcast Episode 21 - Empath Unplugged with Esther Bertram
How Empaths Can Find their Purpose AKA Ikigai
Welcome to Episode 21 of the Empath Unplugged with Esther Bertram! In this episode, Esther talks about how empaths can find their purpose and Ikigai. Ikigai is a Japanese concept that is all about finding joy and meaning in life. It is the intersection of what you’re passionate about, what you’re good at, what the world needs, and what you can get paid for. Esther will share her exercises to help empaths find their Ikigai and their purpose. Empaths can often feel lost and confused about their purpose and where to go next, especially if they are 213’s. Esther offers tips on how to tap into and connect with their true authentic path and how to use their gifts to live a life of joy and fulfilment. In this episode, Esther will also discuss how empaths can recognise the signs of their true purpose and how to stay connected to their inner guidance. She will also talk about how to tend to their energy, boundaries, and well-being while they are on the path to fulfilling their life’s purpose. Join Esther in this episode of Empath Unplugged and learn how to find your Ikigai and live a life of meaning and joy.
Full Transcription
Speaker
Welcome to Empath Unplugged, a frequent release podcast of RAW and philosophical reflections on wellbeing, love and the meaning of life, brought to you by your host, Esther Bertram, founder of the Inzel, a rejuvenation island and community for empaths, expect topics such as philosophy, psychology, art, culture, spirit, science, holistic health, and the occasional beach fire song to be part of your wonder ride to your Oceanside escape. It's time to breathe in the salty air and bask in the soothing warm sun to relax, reflect and vibe, along with a fellow empath to rejuvenate. As most episodes refer to my 1-2-3 theory, I will provide an overview of it here.
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For new listeners, feel free to skip ahead 4 minutes if you know it already. In my twenties I created 2 interlocking theories as I needed a framework for three reasons. One, to know how to optimize my holistic wellbeing, to to have mutually beneficial relationships and letting go of toxic relationships and tangle nations with narcissists. 3 to have lots of time and energy to give in to my positive impact businesses and contribute to the world in a meaningful way. I've now spent two decades putting the theories into practice. And they work, hence me now sharing them with the world. The 1-2-3 theory is a way to assess if you are optimised and able to give the most amount of love and energy to the world for the longest sustained time.
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The five fingered theory explores each domain of holistic health and works in conjunction with the 1-2-3 theory and helps you calibrate each department to have maximum output in your life. The 1-2-3 theory states you need to be in the order of the one. 2-3-1 is yourself. Two are your loved ones. Three is the rest of the world or your contribution. When you nurture your holistic wellbeing first one, then you are better able to have mutually beneficial relationships too. And as a byproduct of this combination, you have so much excess energy to give three your contribution to the world. This order of the 1-2-3 ensures maximum output in all departments for the longest duration.
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Some people are three two ones or three one twos putting their cores business or mission. Before anything else, this isn't sustainable long term if you value health and relationships. Many empaths like I was in the past have the default setting of being a 2-1-3 giving to others before themselves, but that blocks their flow into their three and as a consequence they have little time and energy for their contribution. It's particularly dangerous to be a 2-1-3 when you are together with or around a narcissist.
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As they are double one two threes or double one three twos where they put themselves first twice in an energy vamping way when an empath has it too at the start giving to others first, this fits like a jigsaw into the narcissist double one. This bond is notoriously risky for empaths and often hard to break, so I'm on a mission to help empaths become strong one two threes or would I like to call super empaths so they can thrive? In life, love and work and not get caught wasting years of their precious life in tangled nations.
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This podcast, the empath community I have built, and my book the 1-2-3 theory are all part of achieving this mission. To dive deeper into both theories, head over to the 1-2-3 theory.com where you can read or listen to my book. Now that you have the basic gist of the 1-2-3 theory, let's begin this podcast. Hello listeners, welcome to Empath Unplugged. We're up to podcast episode 21 how empaths can find their purpose, also known as Ikigai, and this is a Japanese term which combines the terms icky, which means alive or life and guy, meaning the benefit. Or worth. So in essence it's about finding your reason for being, and we often refer to that as purpose and.
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It's a very important episode from my perspective because I find for myself personally, having that deeper meaning and purpose is the fire and drive that basically gets me out of bed in the morning, and it's the thing that gives for myself anyway. It gives me a much more rich life experience that goes far beyond material wealth. It's really about. Having that fulfillment that, can only come from when you align everything, you align your skills, your passions, your values, your wish to improve the world in some way.
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And yeah, I feel like when we have purpose and I think everybody has purpose to some degree, I I think just it's a matter of how much we align with it. And when we do align with it, that's when we can truly thrive. Because it's having the biggest impact for not only ourselves, it's our loved ones and it's the world so. It's all about understanding this why? And it's a pretty big topic, to be honest, to cover in one podcast, because it's quite a philosophical thing. And it can also be the source what's behind existential crisis? When someone wants to know the point of existence in the 1st place. And there are so many rabbit holes, we could go down on this topic alone.
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But we will. I will try to keep it. Mainly to the practical as a way to help you get closer. Especially those of you who not you're not already living really intentionally. And those of you who want help to choose the best thing that serves you and your loved ones and the world. Because this is not an easy answer. I know for myself it's taken yeah, many years in a way, although every iteration had its purpose and. Was part of the same. Why drive in a way, ever getting closer towards more and more fulfillment, more and more impact, but I find that. The answer is actually different for every single person, but what I can provide in this episode is some frameworks to help you get a bit closer to that answer.
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So if you're listening to this and you're someone who wants to achieve deeper personal fulfillment, or you want to increase your positive impact of the world, or you just want to live life to the Max and have a closer relationship to your reason for being, then this episode is definitely for you. Yeah, so let's have a look first at what often prevents us from achieving this or or aligning with it.
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So we can fully realise our number three of the one two, three our contribution to the world. And as empaths, the most common thing in our way is our configuration of being a 2-1-3 So when we're at 2-1-3 giving to others number twos before ourselves number ones. Number three really gets put on the back burner and if you imagine it, I'm gonna give you a visualization for this if you're imagine. You as your number one as a cube. So magic. Imagine a Rubik's Cube. Six sides. Mind, heart, body, soul, purpose, facing shadows.
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There's the five finger theory with the extra shadows. So we've got the six. So imagine yourself as a cube. And then underneath that cube. Put a bit bigger cube and that's going to be your number 2. Your relationships are also again mind, heart, body, sole, purpose, facing shadows and imagine underneath that and even bigger cube your number three and so it's a nice smaller to medium size to the biggest one is number three. Now imagine the wellspring. Your joy, your passion, your fire, your values. Your source of energy comes from deep within, down the bottom, up through this waterfall, all the way up to number one at the top of this cube tower.
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And it flows beautifully from you, down to your toes, down to your threes. And it's a natural progression, like a waterfall because you have smaller. To medium to largest and if you are a 2-1-3 Okay, swap the order. Put the two at the top of the tower and the smaller cube underneath the underneath the two already you've got this instability, and if you imagine that wellspring water going up the centre to the twos, you're prioritising the twos. Actually, it doesn't even flow to number one because one is smaller, so the water just kind of goes off the edge.
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Yeah, some might arrive at three, but it's not very optimised. It all gets muddled up along the way because it's not. Natural flow. And with if you want to increase your three, your contribution to the world, the best thing you can do is make your number one cube bigger as you do that which is looking after your holistic wellbeing, looking after your mind, heart, body, sole, purpose and facing your shadows. And if you want to do that, go and look listen to the episode about holistic health and the five finger theory. When you do that, you'll automatically start attracting mutually beneficial relationships.
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No longer the ones where you're the dormit mat or the whipping post, or in a tangle nation with narcissist, the more you strengthen the one, you'll have mutually beneficial relationships, and both of those cubes will start getting bigger. As you do that, there's all this extra energy as a byproduct, and your number three will get bigger as well. So the whole cube. In that lovely formation, we'll just grow in size, in vibrancy, in strength, in energy, in love, in contribution. So it's much healthier to grow your contribution to the world when you grow all three cubes together.
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If you were just to focus on the three, your contribution, imagine it now by putting the number 3, the biggest cube at the top of the tower. Yeah, you might have the wellspring putting into that. So you are very driven for your work or your mission or your. Vocation that is more important than your own health and your closest people in the world. It's just a matter of time before that tower topples down because you will burn out and you don't have the right.
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Flow of energy to all of the departments. So if you want even bigger impact with your number three, you need to grow all three cubes, so. One of the biggest, uh, impediments for this happening is being a 2-1-3 So the first thing we need to do is become strong one two threes. But we're not going to go into that in today's podcast. We're just going to look at what we can do once we have that in order 1-2-3 how can we find what that is that we should do with that extra energy.
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So even if you're a 2-1-3 Right now, listening to this, you can still do these exercises because what they will do, they will help you expedite your conversion from A213 to A123 because you've kind of got a goal and a vision. In my in in your sight almost like a star that you can see. So when you know what that three is, when you can feel it from the inside, that why and that fire.
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Other things start pulling into place as well, so no matter where you are on your super Empath quest, this is a very worthy exercise. And look, I've had to do hundreds of these over the last. Yeah, two decades, I would say. Not always on paper, but sometimes they'd last as far as like a business that I run for. Months or years as an iteration to get closer and closer towards the best way for me, and we'll go into a bit of those a bit later, but I'm going to try to break it down for you just so you don't have to spend. It's a bit like a tangle nation with a narcissist to just speed it up so you don't end up in a project or a job or a some kind of mission that doesn't serve you when you do this kind of planning.
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Up front, and work it out theoretically on paper first. You'll have a much better chance of finding that right answer that's sustainable for you. So rather than just throwing spaghetti at the wall and seeing what sticks, having him more disciplined. Entry point because it definitely more planning helps the action stick. So that's what we're going to go into today. So when we when we're not optimised and when we're at 2-1-3 and we're not. When not utilising our best skills and passions and living on purpose, life can often feel like you're just on this endless treadmill, like a hamster running around putting so much energy in week after week.
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Especially as an empath. We give to everybody in our work, in the strangers, with the strangers we meet at the bus stop, with our friends. We just give and give and give. And when we don't have our why. Sorted out what we truly want to do that goes beyond our day-to-day giving. It can just spin around like we're just giving energy, but not really making progress.
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It's just spins around and then the next week comes and it's the same thing and. Yeah, it can. It can. It can also be like if you're in a job A9 to five job. Um, sometimes people just do that just to pay the bills. Just get it done. And then some of us would drink on the weekend, just forget about the stress of it and meet up with friends. And that kind of numbs the thoughts of even looking beyond at what something else you could be doing.
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That might give you that deeper sense of meaning and purpose. And people can be lost in that. You see it. There's so many people that. Through the 9 to 5 grind and then they go drinking on the weekend and that is their existence. And I'm not judging that because it's just so I don't like to judge anybody, but looking at it from an outer perspective, it's easy to see why. That can be the perfect breeding ground for depression and anxiety and this. Yeah, existential crisis at some point. Going what? What is life all about why? Why am I just doing this prescribed life? And especially if you get one of those little inklings about the miracle of the universe and suddenly realise how amazing it is we exist in the 1st place and then couple that.
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Thought with yeah life is a miracle but I live this 9 to 5 existence and then just numb out on the weekend and. They don't go very well together. It and and that can lead to. Yeah, some deeper mental questions that yeah, you need to go start finding answers for off. If if this podcast episode can help at all to give you some new angles of perspective. New yeah, just new perspectives. I I aim to help you not feel as lost or like you're just bumbling through life aimlessly because yeah, it's much more. Fulfilling to feel like you're utilising the best version of yourself. Otherwise, we can as, especially as empaths. Intuitively, we know when we're on path or on purpose or not, and it can be very painful when we're not.
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And there's so many. It's almost like this big obstacle course that's in our way to get there, to detangle our life, to clean up all our relationships, to find out why we've let down our boundaries so often, to understand the trauma we went through. I mean, there's so many things to wade through, but. Yeah, this episode hopefully can give you a few tips to yeah, help you get towards a really more fulfilling life.
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And to me, when you're living a life where you're on purpose, it is a bit like. You are a Unicorn that's been walking around this field with fences, and when that fire starts, it's just you jump that fence and you can start galloping, galloping, galloping in this universe and as a byproduct. You you just create rainbows and sparkles and because that fire, that energy that on purpose sceness you enter flow state and when you're in flow state life is your more connected with the all that is and more synchronicities happen more amazing experiences happen and it feels like yeah just like a beautiful dance and that is just.
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It's sublime and it's not always easy to achieve because life as we know it puts these hurdles in the way so. I'm doing what I can with this episode to try to help you. Yeah, get towards your galloping Unicorn state. And yeah, and just a little side note. So I'm mostly focusing on two one threes today who are on their path to become one two threes. A side note to anyone who's listening who's already A321 or A312 having three at the front.
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That's the those of us who prioritise work. Or your cause. Or your mission above anything else. Like I said before, having that big cube at the top, one thing is well done for finding your why cause that? That's an amazing thing to achieve and it's wonderful and it can give you that spark, which is what this episode is about. But just a little warning. When you do do that, it's just it. It is dangerous for your own health and the health of your relationships because you are setting yourself up for burnout.
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And I know that because I've been there as well. I've I've never had a problem with understanding my why or having a drive. I've been very driven. I've been a crazy Unicorn from decades galloping around, and I've yeah, I was a 2-1-3 for a lot of my twenties. And worked out my theories and I became also a 3-2-1 and. Yeah, it's taken a few decades to become now 1-2-3 to find that balance.
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Because when you have the balance is when you can last the distance. It's like the techniques for lasting a marathon of life and yeah anyway. I'm just going to go a little bit into my journey and the interesting thing about finding our passion and our why and our contribution is you can look at it on the two theories on the 1-2-3 theory as well as the five finger theory. Ow when we simply look at.
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Finding this this little magical thing for ourselves, when you put it on the 1-2-3 it's as simple as number one ourselves understanding who we are. As essences, what are our core values? What are our passions? What who actually are we? Now that that in itself could go down a very deep hole, but we're not gonna go there. Number two is understanding who we want to serve in life. Who are we most passionate about helping empaths? We all want to help people and there are different and coming from marketing or just call them target markets. But when you're looking at demographics of people or even not just people, animals or plants or what section of life do you want to help and serve what? Who are who are your people that you want to? Improve the wellbeing of because let's face it, we empaths are the most comfortable when we can serve and help people.
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But we must help ourselves first so we can have that sustainable energy. And number three our contribution one two and three, how do we serve them? Because there's so many ways you can serve somebody or a tree or an animal. So for example, if I chose animals and the most important I could choose, I want to be a veterinarian, I want to be a pet minder. I want to go and be a vegan activist. I want to go and set up a sanctuary. Like there's so many. I want to be a digital marketer for animals somehow.
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Like there's so many. How you can put that? Into practice so there's a lot of questions to be answered to get to the final thing, but we'll go through more of them. As we understand go through some of the exercises and yeah, just from my perspective, I've had a few, um, decades of iterations. And there's this saying from Henry Ford, failure is the only opportunity to begin again more intelligently. So we can always look at choosing things from 2 angles. One is innovation, where you just invent something. Or it's iteration where you start with something, you fail, you fall down on your knees and you get back up again and you improve it.
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And by doing that. I think I can't remember how many times Edison did the light bulb over thousands and thousands, but. Iterations are almost like rebirths and you get closer and closer and closer. And I feel like for myself, I've. I've always had my fire and my why? And that's. Really about being a creator. I'm an artist. I would say in my soul I've always needed to create and generate creations songwriting that's what I did as my main career and did a decade and a half in europe.
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Touring as a musician, as having my songwriting the composition process as the core, then expressing it externally. Getting paid to do concerts for that. Then turning that the next iteration was taking the songwriting, turning it into book writing. So it's still working with words and creation and the other angle of my songs, and the book writing is about shifting consciousness and trying to. Bring a different quality, our new perspective, through words.
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Even this podcast is a variation on that same theme. So it's the next iteration where I'm kind of doing freestyle that's not as much prepared like a book or a song. I'm just allowing that. Message to come through, but the same why? The same drive is there and after my book writing started, I started my publishing company, conscious fiction writing children's books to try to help little empaths and little vegans and little children of the world and have books that are of high quality learning about values and.
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Just beautiful messages through story form, things about gratitude and you know how to tune into your own self and your own feelings and connectivity with yourself so they can grow into being aware and strong children. Because the future is. The future is very tricky for young people these days, so I felt a big drive towards helping plant seeds of consciousness through the books. Anyway, another iteration I did, because I've been vegan for over 20 years, was I set up a vegan company and that was fantastic for a while, but I realised it was too.
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I had to do too much people managing as the CEO and I prefer the more creative parts and it was a lot of computer work and I already work on my computer a lot. So I'm I'm morphed this year. Into doing more of this began work. So writing my next book the 1-2-3 theory, starting this podcast and this this all got came was born actually from some of the exercises I'm going to share with you today. Because every single business I've done over the last 20 years it's been ever closer towards best utilising my skills and passions best speaking to the audiences that.
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I most want to help and best in the best formats that I can do. So for example, this podcast I only started at this year, but I've been working in music for many years, so I know about recording and editing and so I'm now utilising all those skills but with the words, which is what I'm used to with songwriting and with book writing. Combining that all into a podcast so it's the next almost like a pyramid, getting closer and closer and closer. My book is the same, working on the 1-2-3 theory.
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That is something that's been brewing for 20 years. I've now done the practical part of the theory so it's ready to be born like a fruit from a tree. It'll come out next year. The other surprising thing for me is a starting this tick tock account a few weeks ago. And I've this particular week I've had a really great success with one of them, so. Because I've always done video, and again, it's combining words and messages and consciousness shifting. So the same thing I've done with songwriting and book writing. But I've also worked with video like visuals for many years and making these tick tocks and I've worked in marketing.
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So it's this tick Tock account is like the perfect. Next iteration of all the work I've done before and I know my audience, which is empaths because I'm an empath. I finally worked out this year who I really AM and who I can best serve so. An example of the success of that is this week I did a tick tock. Yeah, last week on Tuesday. Actually a week ago today. And it was like an empath test, and as a kind of test that I needed to do early this year to really understand how much of an empath I really am because I to my core, there's so many empath versions, like intuitive empath, emotional empath, I'm a dream, empath, I'm a animal empath, I could go on and on and on.
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There's so many empaths. That I know this from the inside out and one of my tick tocks this week is up to. I haven't looked this morning but yesterday it was over 800,000 thousand views and I feel like although that might just seem lucky, I've never believed in the word luck. I opened this fortune cookie years ago in England. I remember living in Peacehaven in a house on the cliffs that looked over the sea. It was just amazing. Open this fortune cookie. And I remember it and stuck with me. Luck is when preparation meets opportunity, and I have held that. That's a firm belief. My father's always said there's no such thing as luck and I didn't understand it properly what he meant till that fortune cookie lies i can just imagine the marketing team in there that writes all these messages, but anyway, it's stuck with me.
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I I are fully. I fully believe that. I think that when you prepare and you iterate and you keep innovating and iterating and you just stick with it with the tenacity of a wombat that just keeps trying to beat dig a hole under a fence, at some point it will. Have an achievement, for example, this Tik tok up to eight hundred thousand views. It's an example of after many, many years of different iterations, sticking with it, slightly, changing it, falling on my feet, I mean off my feet, onto my knees. Another humiliation of failure.
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Get up again. Keep trying, getting closer and closer. Anyway, that's that's an example and. My next iteration which I'm really excited about which is coming away from the computer screen because I realised on when you put out put out your ideal work on the five finger theory looking at mind, heart, body, sole, purpose. My body side of the work that I do it's not ideal to be on a computer, I've I all my work is on computer. So my next iteration, which is going to be my next level of closer, is my wellbeing event space and Airbnb, because I've always love facilitating spaces for people, whether it's digitally, through books, through music, through tick tocks.
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But the next version is an actual on the land, and I won't be in front of the computer. I'll actually be in the garden. And it's going to be beautiful tropical garden with beautiful lights and a nice stage for talks about consciousness and gigs and workshops. And yeah, I'm really excited about that iteration because I feel like, yeah, it's overdue. It's time to get away from the screen. Anyway, that's a bit of my history of iterations. Now we're going to look at some things you can try to get closer for yours if you're not there already. If you are there already, congratulations, that's fantastic. And thanks for listening to this podcast. Maybe you can share it with a friend so they can get closer to their icky guy.
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So you'll need your blank book for this. We're going to do a three-part exercise now this you don't have to do it all now while we're speaking, cause this is something that can take you a few days or a few weeks and so the first thing. Is doing a quick brainstorm over the 1-2-3 to do with your purpose. So I just put the numbers one two and three on a page and number one.
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Just right the question who am I? Question Mark and then just put in brackets passions values and then leave a space to fill that in later. Number two so that was you who you are from the inside as far as work goes, number two is who do you want to serve? Who is your target market? For example, like what I said about me serving empaths now. Or you could be very passionate about trees or animals or a certain. Underprivileged children who whatever the the passion is you have for who you want to serve and number three.
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How can you best serve them formats? Is it in person, is it digital? Those kind of how wary or best skills. So that's just your very first brainstorm. Just blur it all out on Page 1. Then we're gonna go into a more, you know, take as long as you need, whether it's a few days or a few weeks for that section as it comes to you. But try to be not so precious with it. You don't, because this is a process. You don't have to get everything right straight away. If you're a kind of perfectionist, try to let go of that and just just get everything out onto the page.
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It doesn't matter if you make a mistake. There are no mistakes when you're doing this kind of work. It's just let everything out because you might be surprised something might come out of you that you didn't think of. When you're not getting in your own way and you look at it and it might be the spark you need for a new a new angle that something within you knows, but you're in your own way because you are not considering it.
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So this is all about opening your mind a bit more um. So then we're going to do the itchy guy that kind of looks like a beautiful flower. Now what I'll do is I'll upload a template for patrons. If you want to become a patron of this podcast to support more episodes, you can just head over to Empath Unplugged and you'll get access to my private diary where I'm going to add right today the downloadable template that you could print out and put into your book because it's a bit involved. Might be a bit hard to explain over audio, but I'll try my best. So you can either draw this now or head over to Empath unplugged and become a patron and download the template.
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And it looks like this. So we're going to do 4 overlaid circles that interlock in the middle. So draw your first circle at the top. Your second circle at the bottom, but overlying it so that it creates almost like the shape of an eye as they both overlay each other. Then do the same with your left and your right circle that they create a vertical eye and you'll see that lovely. Shapes start forming. They'll be all together. Let me count them. You've got the four big circles, and then you've got 1-2-3-4 almost like 4 petals for inner petals.
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And then you've got this lovely little square shape in the middle, and that's where your icky guy's going to live. So in the top circle, right, the words, you're just above it because you want to fill in that circle at the top. What do you love? So you need to fill that top part of the circle with things that you just love and you're passionate about.
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This is not what you're good at. This is just what you love and what drives you. So then on the left hand circle, that's where you put what you're good at. So just right outside of that circle, what am I good at? What are your skills? When people, when you think about what people come to you for, for advice or to do things, it's usually what you're really good. That so it might not be what you like doing, but it's what you're you have expertise in.
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So that's very different from what you love. Sometimes we love something a lot, but we don't and we might not be even good at it. So you've got what you love at the top, what you're good at on the left. And now the bottom circle is what you can be paid for. So things that you can monetise and it's arguable that you could monetise anything.
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So even if you want to be an origami artist you could be paid for that. You could maybe do courses in it or whatever. There's plenty of ways to monetise anything but things that come to mind that you know that you can easily be paid for. And then on the right hand circle right outside of it what the world needs. So this is all about market opportunity. So where you can see a gap in the market now they're the four main circles and then the overlapping.
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Sections of these circles also have other headings, so the overlap between what you love and what you're good at. So we're looking top left in the middle, in that little shape between the two circles. Put the word passion in the overlapping between what you're good at and what you're paid for. Put the word profession on the overlap between what you're paid for and what the world needs. Put vocation. On the overlap between what the world needs and what the what you love, put the word mission.
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So you now have eight different sections that you can start filling in for. Things that relate to you and there's more that I'll put in the template actually i won't go on to it here because it's a bit too complicated, but it gets you started on the right path towards finding your icky guy. So in the middle is your icky guy. So when you've worked at this for a while and you've filled in all your sections, things will start emerging at that middle part.
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That is the perfect combination of combining your passion, your mission. A vocation. Your profession, what you love, what you're good at, what you can be paid for, what the world needs. And it takes discipline and work and time to go into this. But it is so valuable. As I said, an example for me is finding out this year that I need to. Focus more on empaths because from the core of who I am. That's who I am and cause I've been one of these people. They say Jack of all trades, master of none. In a way, I've been a Jack of all trades because I've done so many different activities. But in a way, now that I've done so many different activities over a longer period, it's almost like rather than growing one tree of mastership, which is if I just decided in when I was 14 to become a sword maker and created swords every single day.
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Maybe now I'd be on my way towards becoming really quite good at making swords. I'd be more like a tree than. My method has been because I've haven't had the patience and discipline to do just one thing. I love it when people do. I admire it when people do because I can't do that. I've had a lot of different skills and I've raised them all almost simultaneously.
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I feel like now I'm in a kind of garden and I I've see it all come together and it is an empath garden. It's a creative garden, it's a artist garden and. It's where I currently live, in my wellbeing garden and I'm very, very happy here now and I'm starting to see the fruits of my labour that it may have taken longer because I've had to split energy over looking, becoming a book writer, doing music, doing videos, doing marketing, setting up businesses. Like when you spread yourself out, it can take longer because you've got, you know, a lot of balls in the air but.
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I'm starting to see some really lovely results from it all. Anyway, so that's the quick um version so you can download that template if you become a patron there final check. This is the third part of really quality control of your icky guys. So if you do that Step 2 and you find your icky guy and you come up with a great result and you're really happy with it, the quality control you can do to it is then place it on the five finger theory.
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So get another page in your book. And trace your hand. Put your fingers apart like a star. Trace your hand. Right in each finger, mind, heart, body, soul, purpose. Put your icky guy the whatever you came up with in the middle of the hand and then do it as a checklist. So have a look in in the mental department how mentally stimulating is. Or maybe you don't want it stimulating. Maybe for you your ikigai is you do not want something that stimulates your head, you want the opposite.
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Maybe you want to Zen action you want something that you can just fully go into a zone and be peaceful and not be mentally stimulated. Or maybe it's the opposite, but just check off if it satisfies your mental domain. Then look at the heart. How much will that? Action and passion fill your heart. How much passion do you have for it? Because passion is what gets you through the hard days of any anything you do and every business, every hobby, every every action we can take. If you repeat it again and again and again, there will be hard days that just you, you almost want to give up.
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But if you love it and have a joy and a passion for it, that will get you through those. Bad days. That's why I've chosen music and book writing, because I've just loved the process of it. And even when it's hard, there's so much joy that it gets me through that. And then you need to look at the body, how healthy it is for your body. For example, what I said for me, my next iteration won't be near the computer because I feel like. I need more balance. I need to be outside.
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I want to be on my feet. I want to be moving away from screens. So that's because of my quality control on the five finger theory. It's not passing the body test. Not everything I do, but even this podcast I can walk around like if you've heard an earlier one, I did one of them at the beach where I was walking and grounding myself so you'd actually ticks the ticks the body.
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Domain sometimes. So that's that's also why I love doing this podcast. And then let's look at the soul. So does it feel like your sole purpose and calling? And you're just you're able to enter flow state because it's just you're in touch with the all that is as you do that action. And then purpose, so is it the thing that is really optimising and utilising your skills and passions and you can positively contribute to the world by doing that. If you get a tick across the board of all of those five, you've found it and congratulations and that's fantastic.
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And I wish you the very best success with it and it's really, really, really exciting when you have those kind of breakthroughs. I know I achieved one of those this year. With the realisation of me writing the 1-2-3 book and making this podcast for empaths and. I yeah, it was one of those moments and it came through doing processes like this so. Yeah, I, I, I, I wanted to just quickly show you how that works on the 1-2-3 for me. So when I realised that my soul, I am an artist in my soul who has a kind of deep passion for. Trying to support the awakening of consciousness through things that I do.
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So even the songs that I used to write were love songs and. I wanted to bring more love into the world. It's kind of a hippie ideal, but it actually worked. One time I remember playing a concert in Berlin, and it was amazing, actually, because I always called them concerts of love and because they were all original songs about love. And one time this couple came up to me. And they had big beaming smiles at the end of the concert and they said, Ohh, we just want to thank you because one year ago we met here at your concert of love and we we've been together ever since and we're in love.
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And after me failing at being a Cupid on so many occasions, trying to set up friends or family, I was so happy that my music and my concerts of Love Actually brought these people together. And yeah, I felt success. Even if it's just for that one couple. I have heard other stories too, but they weren't exactly on the topic of love. But that was just beautiful when I heard that. Anyway, so when on my number one i, realised yeah, I'm an artist who needs to create the people I want to support, number 2 looking at the 1-2-3 are the innocents of the world. So that's what I've always and people who want more love in their life.
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So a lot of the businesses I've done, like my vegan business or even when I wrote. The book, November Fox. It was to help teenage girls. That's how I first started it ended up being an adult's book about a vegan empath Rockstar. Or then working for mini maestros and setting up my conscious fiction is also about supporting children. I'm very passionate about education and planting seeds of consciousness, consciousness, sorry, you need to be able to speak and fellow empaths, that's my latest. And yeah, really exciting demographic I'm loving to support at the moment. And yeah, working out that I need to write, I need to create, I need to do books, I need to do podcasts, I need to make videos.
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That brings me so much joy. So that's just an example of me showing you how I found my icky guy. Anyway so. If you don't want to stay too long as a 2-1-3 and. They optimise your life so you can become a thriving 1-2-3 When you do that, your your three will give you such a profound sense of meaning and if you do suffer from depression and anxiety, a really wonderful byproduct of having a strong Y and a strong purpose in life. Is you have you don't have as much space for this rumination in your default mode network of your brain to. Have that occur because every day you wake up.
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With more fire and drive and focus towards doing that. Icky guy. So yeah, I I hope this podcast has helped you think about different things you could start doing towards becoming a thriving empath. Because another byproduct of when you have your ikigai and you're actively doing it everyday is as an empath with your big heart leading the way. You will. Automatically be igniting the wildfire that is awakening consciousness around you because you will be on purpose, and that kind of energy is contagious when you go out in the world and you are. Thriving as a one, you attract mutually beneficial relationships and positively contributing to the world. You are an inspiration for others and that spreads like wildfire and it's a wonderful thing to do.
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So I. I hope hope this podcast has helped you even ignite a little spark towards that, because it will be wonderful. To hear more stories of people going from being a 2-1-3 to a thriving 1-2-3 and having their three. Helping other people to in whatever form you want it to be. So that's my little white letter to you today and that's what song I'm going to end with today. It's a song I wrote with my friend Charlie called Little White letter. It is a love song, but I'm going to deliver it today as a message from me to you because it's all about. Filling your heart with that love.
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So if you're icky, guy was your. Field heart. That's what this little white letter is about. Because when you have that icky guy at the Centre, your heart is filled up. Your heart beats faster. Your every thought is about your icky guy. And it can become your big love. Your very big love. And fills your heart in a magical way. So this is little white letter from my album the Tea House. Not a letter. Dear love, my heart is empty without you near.
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Read a letter. Still love? My heart is dying without you 2 ohh. My every son is you. Tell me, my love man. He wrote a letter, my love so strong my heart beats fast for you. A little. Hello soak, my name is Kevin Field. I'm falling for you ohh. My every thought is you. Tell me, my love man. Little, white little. Move with the kids. And on Monday. That was little white letter from my album the Tea House, and with that I'm going to say sayonara from this episode and I hope it's helped you find your ikigai and I look forward to hearing any comments or feedback about.
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You're getting closer towards. Expanding your cube tower and having an amazing number three. Ok, that's it for this week. Thanks so much. My beautiful, lovely empathy for tuning in means a lot to me. Have a beautiful, beautiful weekend. Until next time, bye bye. You've been listening to Empath Unplugged, a frequent release podcast of RAW and philosophical reflections on wellbeing, love and the meaning of life, brought to you by your host, Esther Bertram, founder of the Insel, a rejuvenation island and community for empaths. For more information or to join the community, head over to the enzel com th e i n s e l dot com. If you have found value from this episode and would like to become a patron to support future episodes and gain access to exclusive content only available to patrons, head over to empathunplugged.com and sign up to be part of the inner circle.
Speaker
Thank you for listening. Have a beautiful and rejuvenating. Week till next time. Bye bye. Today's episode is sponsored by Step by step guitar lessons com Your Go to course if you're an absolute beginner and want to learn guitar. I have taught hundreds of students with my fast track method from ages 6 to 80 with lifetime access. These self-paced online lessons mean you can learn in the comfort of your own home. The bike sized lessons are very easy to follow and the platform keeps track of your progress. This course is tailored for absolute newbies.
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