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Podcast Episode 09 - Empath Unplugged with Esther Bertram

How Can Empaths Stop Attracting Narcissists?

Narcissists can be like a black hole that pull in the light from around them without giving much in return. Unoptimised and what Esther calls “213 Empaths” are the perfect light feeders for that hole. In this episode of empath unplugged, Esther explores how empaths can stop attracting narcissists. It’s not about changing or blaming the narcissist, but more about empaths taking responsibility for what they can do to stop the attraction. After all, it takes two to tango!

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Full Transcription

00:01
Esther Bertram
Welcome to Empath Unplugged, a frequent release podcast of RAW and philosophical reflections on wellbeing, love, and the meaning of life. Brought to you by your host, Esther Bertram, founder of the Inzel, a rejuvenation island and community for empaths. Expect topics such as philosophy, psychology, art, culture, spirit, science, holistic health, and the occasional beach fire song to be part of your wonder ride to your Oceanside escape. It's time to breathe in the salty air and bask in the soothing warm sun to relax, reflect and vibe along with a fellow empath to rejuvenate.
00:42
Esther Bertram
As most episodes refer to my 1-2-3 theory, I will provide an overview of it here for new listeners. Feel free to skip ahead 4 minutes if you know it already. In my twenties I created 2 interlocking theories as I needed a framework for three reasons. One, to know how to optimise my holistic wellbeing to to have mutually beneficial relationships and letting go of toxic relationships and tangle nations with narcissists 3 to have lots of time and energy to give in to my positive impact businesses and contribute to the world in a meaningful way.
01:21
Esther Bertram
I've now spent two decades putting the theories into practice. And they work, hence me now sharing them with the world. The 1-2-3 theory is a way to assess if you are optimised and able to give the most amount of love and energy to the world for the longest sustained time. The five finger theory explores each domain of holistic health and works in conjunction with the 1-2-3 theory and helps you calibrate each department. To have maximum output in your life, the 1-2-3 theory states you need to be in the order of the 1-2-3-1 is yourself. Two are your loved ones. Three is the rest of the world or your contribution.
02:06
Esther Bertram
When you nurture your holistic wellbeing, first one, then you are better able to have mutually beneficial relationships too. And as a byproduct of this combination, you have so much excess energy to give three your contribution to the world. This order of the 1-2-3 ensures maximum output in all departments for the longest duration. Some people are three two ones or three one twos, putting their cause, business or mission before anything else.
02:38
Esther Bertram
This isn't sustainable long term if you value health and relationships. Many empaths, like I was in the past, have the default setting of being a 2-1-3 giving to others before themselves, but that blocks their flow into their three and as a consequence, they have little time and energy for their contribution. It's particularly dangerous to be a 2-1-3 when you are together with or around a narcissist, as they are double one two threes or double one three twos where they put themselves first twice in an energy vamping way when an empath has it too at the start, giving to others first. This fits like a jigsaw into the narcissist double one. This bond is notoriously risky for empaths and often hard to break, so I'm on a mission to help.
03:30
Esther Bertram
Empaths become strong one two threes. Or would I like to call super empaths so they can thrive in life, love and work, and not get caught wasting years of their precious life in tangled nations? This podcast, the empath community I have built and my book the 1-2-3 theory are all part of achieving this mission. To dive deeper into both theories, head over to the123theory.com where you can read or listen to my book.
04:03
Esther Bertram
Now that you have the basic gist of the 1-2-3 theory, let's begin this podcast. Hello, listeners. Welcome to podcast episode number nine. How can empaths stop attracting narcissists? So this is a very common topic that many empaths need to face both internally and externally. So I thought it was worth doing a podcast episode just on this. And if we look at the phrasing of the topic of how can empaths stop attracting narcissists? It's more about us taking responsibility. It's not about changing a narcissist or blaming a narcissist. It's remembering that all dancers take two to tango.
04:55
Esther Bertram
And so we're just looking at what lives on our side of that dance and what can we do to stop dancing with them if we don't want to dance with them. So that's what we're covering today, so it's a beautiful day. Then at the enzal, I just would like to explain a little bit what I can see out the window here where I'm sitting is a beautiful sparkling ocean. There are a lot of birds out today.
05:25
Esther Bertram
This morning they were making a big raucous song and yeah, the sun is shining. I think spring is on the way and there's movement with the castle that I'm building on the land. So it feels like a good week this week and yeah, it's a great time. Make this podcast. So let's dive in. So a lot of the podcasts I'm making are all about this journey from being an empath into transforming into a super empath. So when you're a super empath, you're really utilising the best aspects of being an empath and not suffering the setbacks so much.
06:12
Esther Bertram
So you're converting the setbacks into super powers. And that's what the book that I wrote in this podcast is all about, is supporting empaths towards this state of super empaths them and when you are a super empath. When you're looking at the 1-2-3 theory, the number 2 is about your relationships and so assume Prem path is a really strong 1-2-3 and the two in the equation is how you engage with and. Flow with your relationships, and they're mutually beneficial when you're a super ember.
06:53
Esther Bertram
They're not usually dancers with people that take away your energy and time and love and don't give you anything in return so. I think the ultimate state to get towards when you want to really have a bigger impact in life is having really mutually beneficial relationships in your closer circle. And I think when you're an evolved empath, you've moved past this, blaming others. And I think we want to take responsibility we we anyway by default like taking responsibility often too much for other people.
07:33
Esther Bertram
But in this particular situation, there is a lot we can do as the other person in this dance to. And stop the attraction happening so we can, yeah, dance with people that it's mutually beneficial to dance with. So when we do stop. These energy vamps, it's another way to look at it. We can truly begin to thrive and. In my book, the 1-2-3 theory, I talk about quite often the metaphor of the ocean of emotion and because I see empaths.
08:13
Esther Bertram
Needing to swim or surf or live in this world a lot because that's the domain that they're often. Just feeling and being in is the world of emotions. And I talk about the narcissists as the NARC sharks, so they're the sharks of the sea and. Yeah, I think learning how to thrive within your ocean and be aware of the predators is a really good thing to do when you want to become a super empath so. Our situation that we face as empaths. Is well, how I see it anyway is I see empaths, particularly.
08:56
Esther Bertram
People who lead with their hearts, shine with their heart, are really like bright lights, and it's a bit like moths to a flame when when you shine brightly. Or actually, it's probably better to say. Because they're just getting drawn into the lights. Probably better to say black holes. If you are a bright light and you have a black hole nearby. No light can escape it, it just. Who knows where it ends up? Down a wormhole? Into another cosmos? But it basically one thing is for sure, it takes away the light and it doesn't give anything in return. So when we are a shining, bright, giving heart, it's quite common that people around wanna take from that and.
09:50
Esther Bertram
Let's say that some narcissists are quite like black holes because they can't help being like that. Or maybe they can, maybe. But sometimes they just are like that. And our light can it can just disappear and we don't have much left for ourselves or other people. But there's and there's a big difference between. Shining brightly as a person and people basking in that light and even giving back to that light and making you shine brighter as a light than when they consume it and ZAP it or extinguish the light.
10:33
Esther Bertram
And yeah, it can leave us feeling very depleted if we are in that situation, especially if we're not yet a thriving 1. Out of the 1-2-3 and cause when you're a one you you're kind of plugged into an energy source that you've self generated by balancing your mind, heart, body, soul, purpose, facing your shadows. And you can shine extremely bright then, and black holes kind of disappear into that, and you're not affected because you've got strong boundaries um but until you are that, it's it's a dangerous situation to be anywhere near black holes because our light isn't quite bright enough.
11:16
Esther Bertram
And the other thing we face. Is often we feel guilt and we feel guilty for not helping or feeding into or rescuing people. Sometimes because when we know ourselves as being the kind one, the one that gives, the one that is there for people, especially if you've been an empath all your life. It's almost like you're it's formed an identity, and whether it's an ego identity with form, as Echo told likes to phrase it, it can be.
11:50
Esther Bertram
But regardless, if we know ourselves as a kind person, finding that New Balance where you can still be kind. But you're not just getting absorbed by somebody else, so you're actually being kind to yourself as well and as first and foremost, so your holistic wellbeing is looked after. There's a big difference there and I think we we shouldn't feel guilty about giving to ourselves because we will have more energy, more sustainable energy for a longer term if we do. So I just actually think it's plain wrong and. Not good if we feel guilty about.
12:36
Esther Bertram
Doing that because it's really important that we we self nurture and. Another really important thing to remember is healthy and mutually beneficial relationships. They make you shine brighter and that's that's as simple as it is. But if you look at your closest relationships you have at the moment and you can assess them, you can see okay which ones? I always see it like this Infinity sign where it's a flow and a dance between the two. Which ones of them? Are doing that and and just being around them. There's a greater than the sum of the parts output because you give to them, they give to you and it's a beautiful flow.
13:26
Esther Bertram
It's almost like putting 2 chemicals in a beaker in science class. Sometimes when you put the right to together, a beautiful output will come. It might turn purple, or make lights, or make smoke, or sometimes the chemicals will attack each other and sometimes one. Would take over the other. So when we are in beautiful, mutually beneficial relationships, it's harmonious and there's a bigger output than the sum of the parts. And if you look at your relationships and if somebody in your sphere doesn't want you to shine brightly or doesn't support you to be the brightest you can be.
14:10
Esther Bertram
They're likely a black hole of some kind and I think they're best to be avoided, especially if you're 2-1-3 until you become a super empath. Those kind of relationships are a bit dangerous because they you might not even realise but you your energy and. Love and time can be zapped away and yeah, it's just holding you back from your your quest of. Getting to a really high thrive life. Where you can impact more people and more quality impact for yourself and your loved ones.
14:50
Esther Bertram
So yeah, it's much safer to be a bit around black holes then. Because yeah, when you're a shining star or sun or sun star, yeah, you can you you black holes have no. No weight or what do you call it? No power over a bright sun so. I'm going to talk a little bit about my. Personal experience with how I have stopped attracting narcissists so. First, I look internally, So what have I done internally? Well, a big thing is my 1-2-3 theory, which if you want to learn more about, go and read my book at the 1-2-3 theory.com And it's all based down to my theories, which is my 1-2-3 theory, which is looking after yourself, having mutually beneficial relationships and as an output giving in to the world.
15:53
Esther Bertram
All your excess energy and having contributions and part of that is looking after your wellbeing. The number one, which is my five finger theory, which is all about balancing mind, heart, body, sole purpose and facing your shadows. Now, although the theories are quite simple. It it's it's hard. It's a long process as an ongoing process to live them. I've been doing them for a couple of decades now and it's still ongoing and it's a it's like a nuanced machine and tweaking your engine all the way to optimize and you know, there's times that you.
16:35
Esther Bertram
Are doing better and times, then you could be doing better. So that's what I've been doing internally. On the inside, all as much as I can, all the time continually optimising. But externally I actually this may be a bit of a cheat of the system. I wanted a permanent solution because I think there are a lot of narcissists out there in the world and. No matter. Even when you become a super empath, it's it's like it's very easy to fall back into old patterns, especially if you've got really. Let's call them super narcissists. It's like war of the War of the different. Pattern behaviours and people um. So I wanted a permanent solution that just takes just makes it easier to maintain the internal strength for this ongoing situation.
17:41
Esther Bertram
And the fastest and easiest and most permanent solution is actually. To remove myself from the mainland world and find a safe haven where I feel really physically in a in a distance from the world, but still close enough that I can feel protected so. I now live on an island and there's this energetic Moat. If any of you have heard my other podcasts, I might have mentioned it. And that's why my companies the Insel which means Island in German. And it's my safe haven that keeps me protected physically from the mainland, and I'm able to.
18:30
Esther Bertram
It's very nurturing for me to do my internal work and my creative work and my all my businesses. So that's a permanent solution, but I'm going to go on a little segue here, sidetrack, because of my last episode that I did about synchronicity and animal totems and everything, that was a week ago now and I some funny things have happened this week and I just want to. Tell you a few of them, because they were, yeah, they were one of those moments again that are making me smile a lot and more winks from the universe, which kind of proved the points of the synchronicity after I just talked about it last week anyway.
19:17
Esther Bertram
A couple of years ago. Went up to a place that's a beautiful area of Australia called the Whitsundays and went to this island, Long Island. It's a bit remote and it's just absolutely stunning. Um, I love islands and I love the atmosphere of being on islands. Anyway, this is very tropical where I live now. Here's semi tropical, but that's even more tropical and. In the restaurant, because it's, you know, it's hot weather, so you have all open doors.
19:50
Esther Bertram
It's actually open to the they've just got bits of beautiful, lush greenery all around. And there's no walls. It's just a roof. A roof over all the tables and chairs anyway. Birds are playing, singing again. Anyway, this bird came in every night to this open restaurant at night time. Most birds go to sleep at night time and apart from owls and certain predator ones. And I'd never seen a bird like this before. And it's quite tall. Probably the size of a Penguin, I guess. And with stick legs and tall neck and. It would come in, just stand and stare. They stand like a statue, and I had never seen a bird like this one, that it was awake at night.
20:44
Esther Bertram
Two, that it just came into the restaurant. Three, that it stands like a statue and it has these eyes. And such presence and mindfulness in the moment. And I I've told multiple people about this occurrence, and I described it as the birds singing into your soul, because that's what it felt like. It would just stare deep into your soul like it could see me. It could really, really see me and I could see it, and I just loved it. I felt. I I had never met an animal with such. Presence it's a bit like when I had my dog or my best dog in the world, honey, who moved with me from Australia to Germany to England.
21:32
Esther Bertram
She lived until she was 16. She had a very deep presence too, and she would look me in the eye and we knew we would talk to each other through our thoughts and just such, such attention to the moment and true presence. And this bird had that and having experienced that before in a bird. Anyway, it became I've worked out, I found out what it was. It's called a curlew. And it became my new favourite bird and I told people about it.
22:03
Esther Bertram
And that was in August, later that year in this is two or three years ago in October. And when we're looking around for a place to live. Came to this island where I am now and fell in love with it. Wasn't planning to already build that fast, but it just felt like home. And bought and I'm in a build process. It's still getting built at the moment. But I found out that this bird, which I'd already decided was my favourite bird a few months ago. There are heaps of them here and they are, it's like they're haven and they're it's basically their island.
22:51
Esther Bertram
I think. I I think it feels like cause they're the ones everywhere and they scream, they sound like somebody being killed at night. That another quirky thing about their original Ness and they they gather they all just at dusk or even in the night. They go and meet on the road like they have, they're usually impairs, but then they meet up and have their party. And they scream like shrieking this blood curdling noise that it's so freaky and when you don't know what it is, but anyway. They're gorgeous. Anyway, I've been hanging out with them all year and the little baby one was born last Christmas Eve next door and the three on the block next door, and all three of them are hanging out and.
23:38
Esther Bertram
Anyway, after me doing the podcast episode last week about looking up animals and I hadn't ever looked up the meaning of a curlew I probably should have because this is their island and there's heaps of them and they're my favourite, but I went to the my block of land. Actually, no. I had a chat with my friend, Nereda. And I was telling her about cause I'm building a wellbeing space and event space for the insole on the other block of land, and it's going to be a beautiful place for empaths and vegans, and I'll be able to put on concerts and talks, and I hope to do TEDx talks there too.
24:20
Esther Bertram
Anyway, I was telling narrator how I'm really craving just the elements at the moment and getting back because I've just bought a Jacuzzi for part of it and a fire pit area, and I'm doing it on the land and the air. So I've got the elements going on with water, fire, air and Earth, and I was telling her how I'm craving that at the moment and. I because I've done a lot of just computer work for ages and doing this build process as being quite stressy and I just wanna get onto the block and create this wellbeing space and air bnb and.
25:01
Esther Bertram
Myself, I want to just sit in the elements. I want to have a fire and have a Jacuzzi and justice, really get back to simple things. Anyway, I told her about that and I even told her about my latest. Um, podcast and about the Dolphins that I saw last week and cause she. Fully gets all of that. How synchronicity and totems and things are from me and my brain. Her brain works quite similarly. Anyway, I told her about that. Then the next day I went to the block of land right where I'm going to.
25:36
Esther Bertram
Both the fire pit across from the spa and there was a curlew sitting in the grass, like I thought it was nesting and it was right in the spot where I'm going to be doing the fire pit area and I just thought, Oh my goodness, it's so. Another animal symbolism, and especially after last week synchronicity, that the curlew is sitting right in that spot. And then I thought, actually I've never even looked up the meaning of a curlew, and I probably should because. They are my favourite and you know they had that deep and meaningful thing with one up at the Whitsundays. Anyway, I looked it up and it says as part of the spirit animal, it's a master of the four elements, Earth, air, fire and water.
26:26
Esther Bertram
It said that they have a really strong psychic ability. And they screamed to warn others about the fires and rain. And they've got a really kind and caring nature and they all jump and help out people when they're in need. So already when I was reading that, I was going, ohh my god, I just was saying about the elements and it's sitting in that spot and it's a curlew. But then it went on to say, through empathy, the curlew sees the auroras of humans. And then I thought, ohh my god, of course they're empaths.
27:01
Esther Bertram
This is the, this is the island of empath birds. Of course, this is where I felt. Home and ended up buying and why I had that deep and meaningful yeah engagement with the curlieu at the Whitsundays and it's because their impasse and I have an impasse and we are we're I mean I've thought I was an animal empath but they're human empaths towards humans. So it was just so beautiful and poetic and again the timing of it, it felt again like so I sent the screenshot to Nero said.
27:33
Esther Bertram
Ohh my god, look what we were talking about last night and it was just there and. I just had talked about synchronicities and animal totems, and anyway, it was one of those winks from the universe again. And then yesterday the triple ones came back again and just had three in a row and I was like, ohh, OK yes. This is the jigsaw puzzle again, and it's because I it's almost like I activated it and by doing a podcast on it so it's it's come back stronger. Anyway, I thought I would share those little stories because they're they connected to the last week's 1 and.
28:12
Esther Bertram
Yeah, I just wanted to also say about my ongoing work to be a 1-2-3 I'm I, I wanna jump into now some things you could do. For this. Side of the dance where we're looking at how we can stop narcissists, so obviously the most permanent solution. Is the internal work we can do, which is from my perspective, becoming A123A really strong. Because narcissists prey on two one threes and two three ones so. The the the stronger we can be a one. We're just not attractive to them because they don't. We don't give enough to them because a 2-1-3 feeds into the double one of a narcissist and when we're A123 I think we're pretty much invisible to a narcissist.
29:10
Esther Bertram
So that is the permanent solution, but it is a long path to become a super empath. Or it can be because it takes a lot of self work and tweaks to your life and. Yeah, sometimes therapy and. It's it's not something you can just change overnight, or maybe you can, but it's usually something that's it it just to learn the new habits because you have to do it in all the departments, your mental space, your emotional space, your physical space, your spiritual space, your purpose and your contribution and facing your shadow.
29:48
Esther Bertram
So it's there are a lot of aspects that need to be looked at and tweaked and that can be a long term thing. Again, you can read my book the 1-2-3 theory if if this resonates with you, working it out like that, and looking at holistic health in a more categorical way. Um, that may help you, but if you want a quick fix because that's a long term fix. And obviously the other permanent solution is removing yourself moving to an island. But I'm not, I'm not advocating that everyone should just get away from society, because that's also not we want to be strong impacts in the world as well.
30:32
Esther Bertram
So I'm going to look at some quick fixes and. I would say like if you're at work and you're around empath, narcissist at work as an empath. I would really try to avoid engaging them at all. Just try to move your desk, or just don't. Just try to put up a boundary and. Hang out with people that are more mutually beneficial and. If you're in a relationship with a narcissist, I highly suggest seeking outside counsel.
31:06
Esther Bertram
I know there was a time I was 19. And I needed to. Escape a very destructive relationship and it was only through forming a really beautiful friendship with my friend Charlie at university and he was so kind and caring and. He was treating me better than my own partner and he when I asked him for advice and he said look at it from the moon perspective, I said I want one word and he said perspective and. It just literally rocked my world and he's he's pure kindness.
31:43
Esther Bertram
And care enabled me to have inner strength and built myself esteem. To be honest. And Charlie, I don't know if you ever listened to these podcasts. We're still friends. I I love you to death and thank you so much for that, for that care you gave me back then because my life changed so dramatically. We ended up. Charlie and I ended up living together and writing music together, and we've made albums together and did a tour around Europe. And he's just amazing and. So I advise anyone, if you're in a relationship with a narcissist or somebody that's some kind of black hole energy, seek outside counsel. Another thing you could do is join our community.
32:27
Esther Bertram
We have a lot of coaches and therapists within our empath community at the inzel.com And yeah, just connecting with people that are more. Conducive to your holistic wellbeing is highly, highly recommended. So if you can't remove yourself from the narcissists and you know you need to work on becoming A123 so you might be a 2-1-3 There's another thing you can do. As a quick fix and when we look into nature at different ways that animals survive and work with other animals. There's one particular 1A chameleon that has a really good trick up its sleeve, and that's. Using this method. Where you can change the colour of your skin to match an environment so you you it's a kind of deception in a way, but it is a quick fix to not be seen as the empath or the 2-1-3 empath that you may currently be.
33:37
Esther Bertram
And it's almost like fake it to make it. That's a psychological thing actually there's been a lot of studies on if you force yourself to smile. It actually does make you happier, connects with things in your brain, and you can. You can fake it to make it with something. So if you if you put up a shield of in front of yourself or change the chameleon yourselves and.
34:05
Esther Bertram
Even if you're not yet truly A123 you just believe it and say it and be it as fake it to make it as a 1-2-3 So boost up your confidence. It's almost like becoming a Peacock. Fluff up your feathers, put up this shield. You could even try the mirroring techniques so you could be like the narcissist, like mirroring back to them how they would be, which is a double one two three. Even you trying to be a double one two three probably won't work cause you're probably too much of an empath, but you might even go halfway there.
34:43
Esther Bertram
What do they say? Shoot for the stars and you arrive at the moon? You might become a even a pseudo 1-2-3 for a while if you copy some of their behaviour, so that can kind of change the colour of your. Um, 2-1-3-2-1-2-3 that you may be less interesting to them because as long as you stay in that back to that episode I talked about dominance and submissives as as long as you stay in that submissive situation you will be an energy source for them, and they will be a black hole to your light.
35:20
Esther Bertram
But if you can step in front of yourself, put up your shield, fluff up your feathers, mirror them like them. It's a short term solution if you this is only if you can't get away from them in the short term. And meanwhile in the background you can work on becoming a real 1-2-3 and which will just take time. And yeah, that's a little bit of a. Quick fix, hack and yeah, I think that. When you when you have people in your life who really make you brighter.
35:58
Esther Bertram
And value you and don't just take from you. You should. You should really appreciate and love that, cause that's the most beautiful thing and give them your time and your energy. They are the ones who deserve it, the ones who see you for who you are. The ones who value you. The ones that make you shine brighter and only want you to be the brightest version of yourself. They are your mutually beneficial relationships. That you can have your Infinity beautiful worlds dance with.
36:32
Esther Bertram
Yeah, so there's some little. Ideas for the moment. And yeah, to go further into the theories I think I've mentioned already before, you can check out the one two three theory book because that whole book is a guide how to thrive in life, love and work. And yeah, this podcast each episode will be one more bit of the puzzle of of getting towards that thriving state of a super empath. Um, and yeah, bright shining and brightening up the world and it's all because I have, I have a really strong vision of. This almost army, and I call it an army because life is sometimes a bit like a war.
37:15
Esther Bertram
But I I see it as a. Positive the only positive army. I do not like any kind of war. It's ridiculous. I'm so much a hippie. Peace, love and happiness pacifist but. When I imagine this, I maybe I shouldn't call an army, let's say just this. Group of super empaths. Where they're leading? The heart led society because only people who are integrated and emotionally intelligent with big hearts can lead the way of a heart led society. I have this vision of them as diamonds showing the way forward for everybody. I mean the world has a few predictions that aren't that great on multiple levels and but I like to hold on to this vision of.
38:11
Esther Bertram
In an integrated society where people have been able to. Tune into their hearts. And let love and connection and honesty and compassion and kindness for each other, for the animals, for the planet to lead the way so we can collectively have a have a bigger and better impact so i see empaths as a really important part of that because I feel like we have, we have the tools within us to.
38:50
Esther Bertram
Show that, show the way, lead the way with our light. But it's not easy though. It's almost like we started a disadvantage because of often from trauma or from not understanding our gifts or being sucked up into tango relations with narcissists. So we we almost have this set back, but we have the biggest capacity if we get through that and heal that to then. We might start behind a pack, but we're then we could lead the pack if we go through that process because I think the heart has a bigger strength than an ego.
39:28
Esther Bertram
The heart can shine brighter and for more people than just a solitary narcissistic lead. Ego driven world therefore wants a empath has got to that super empath state. They're easily able to run the long distance. And shine the light for others. That's my vision anyway so. I'm yeah, I'm looking forward to any. Anyone I hear about that feels like you have been at one? Starting the self development process if you haven't already. It's almost like. Being a Caterpillar and going into your cocoon so you can emerge as this beautiful 1-2-3 butterfly and. If if this podcast is helping you do that, I'm I'm really happy and I'll keep making them just in case it is helping anybody and.
40:32
Esther Bertram
Today's story time or song time, I'm actually going to do something I haven't done before and. I started a few years ago a publishing company called Conscious Fiction because of my it actually was birthed from my songwriting, and I wrote this book, November Fox for teenagers. About it's based on the 1-2-3 theory in the five finger theory but it's sci-fi fantasy through dimensions of consciousness about November Fox whose understanding this Rubik's Cube, which is teleporting cube through different layers of consciousness about understanding holistic health. Anyway, that gave birth to my publishing house.
41:13
Esther Bertram
Conscious fiction. And I started writing books for babies and toddlers. To plant seeds of consciousness and wisdom from a very early age, and one of the stories is the one I'm thinking of goes well with today's topic. It's called Sadie the snail and. I'm happy being me. And it's about being different, but embracing that difference. And I see empaths as being quite different. And many of us have self esteem issues or trauma we need to heal and we might feel. Odd compared to others in certain situations, but this story is about being proud and happy with yourself just the way you are and having strong self esteem.
42:03
Esther Bertram
And doing things your way on your terms. Because I although you might be different if I see it as a really beautiful difference and. Even if narcissists rule much of the world, I I really see empaths of having a big true strength and it's really brave to lead with your heart and your uniqueness. So yeah, it's a story about that. It's also a story about friendship and being seen for your values and not feeling alone.
42:35
Esther Bertram
And when I first wrote it, it I wrote it for narrator who I mentioned in the story she's been. With one of my best friends since I was actually probably my longest friend since I was I think 6 years old. She's a few years older than my mum and she's still one of my very best friends, so she's always seen my uniqueness and embraced it. So I dedicated this story to her.
43:03
Esther Bertram
Um, but today's story time I'm actually going to dedicate to another person as well. And it's for Marcus, my very first patron. And I just want to thank you, Marcus. I've known Marcus since my days in Berlin. He used to help me with my concerts and sold my CD's and was really he's always. Almost seen my light and supported me and my uniqueness and. My quirks and being my first patron now of the Empath Unplugged show. I just want to thank you, Marcus. It really means the world to me. So I'm gonna dedicate today's story time to you. And thank you. So haven't ever tried reading a story on the podcast cause you can't see the pictures so I'm gonna have to describe them.
43:55
Esther Bertram
So the front cover is this snail orange snail with big beady eyes. It's called Sadie the snail. I'm happy being me. Okay and the first picture is 2 butterflies playing tennis over a flower, and Sadie's going along upside down right in the middle of their game. Let's begin. Sadie, Sadie, get out of the way. Don't you know it's dangerous to slide right where we play? And then the next page is I'm happy. Sliding where I am, I'm happy. Sliding free, I'm hay. Sliding upside down, I'm hay being me. And the next page is little lady beetles, all behind.
44:46
Esther Bertram
Sadie, Sadie? Sadie, why are you so slow? You're always getting in our way, Sadie, won't you go? I'm happy sliding at this pace. I'm happy sliding free. I'm happy sliding down this way. I'm happy being me. Then the next page is a grasshopper and Sadie sliding up this stalk nearby. Sadie, Sadie, your slime is just like glue. Everything is sticky now. I'm so glad I'm not you. And then Sadie says I'm hay. Sliding with my trail. I'm happy.
45:29
Esther Bertram
Sliding free. I'm happy. I know where to go. I'm happy being me. And the next page is some bees with their beehive and Sadie going up a flower. Sadie, Sadie, where is your real home? Don't you long for settling down, or will you always roam? I'm happy sliding with my shell. I'm happy sliding free. I'm happy with my home right here. I'm happy being me. And then we've got a little mouse on top of a mushroom sadie? Sadie, your eyes are really long. No one else here looks like you.
46:11
Esther Bertram
I'm not sure you belong. And Sadie says my eyes can cry just like yours, and they can also see. But now they cry with happiness. I'm happy being me. And then the next page is all these. Speech bubbles saying slow in the way, sticky, no home long eyes. And then we've got big magenta coloured frog and saying and the frog says wrong, wrong, wrong. You are all very wrong. Sadie is not in the way she's mindful, as can be.
46:54
Esther Bertram
Sadie may be sometimes slow, but she's patient, just too big. And the next page is you can see all where Sadie has been snailing along. She's actually the next page reveals that she's written her name, Sadie, across all of the flowers and trunks and mushrooms. It's quite clever. And the frog says Sadie has a sticky trail. But she's creative. Can't you see? Sadie carries her home with her. She's adventurous and free.
47:31
Esther Bertram
Next page is but most of all she's very unique and for that she'll always be dot dot dot. Last page my best friend. The end. So that was Sadie the snail. I'm happy being me and if you'd like to get that book for a little one in your life and help them learn about. The wonders of being unique and having self-confidence just the way you are. Head over to consciousfiction.com.au and you can have a copy of it there. So that's it for today's podcast. It's been lovely sharing another moment with you, and I look forward to hanging out on the next one.
48:27
Esther Bertram
Have a beautiful week bye. Today's episode is sponsored by Step by step guitar lessons com Your Go to course if you're an absolute beginner and want to learn guitar. I have taught hundreds of students with my fast track method from ages 6 to 80 with lifetime access. These self-paced online lessons mean you can learn in the comfort of your own home. The bike sized lessons are very easy to follow and the platform keeps track of your progress.
48:58
Esther Bertram
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49:25
Esther Bertram
There are several studies that prove that learning a musical instrument is the only activity to light up, almost. All areas of the brain at once. Making music has the power to soothe your soul, heal your body, and bring you true joy. Not to mention, if you've always wanted to be a Rockstar, learning guitar is your ticket to do so. So if you're ready to learn or want to gift it to a friend, head over to stepbystepguitarlessons.com and enroll today. You've been listening to Empath Unplugged, a frequent release podcast of RAW and philosophical reflections on wellbeing, love, and the meaning of life, brought to you by your host, Esther Bertram, founder of the Insel, a rejuvenation island and community for empaths.
50:14
Esther Bertram
For more information or to join the community, head over to theinsel.com th e i n s e l dot com if you have found. Value from this episode and would like to become a patron to support future episodes and gain access to exclusive content only available to patrons. Head over to empathunplugged.com and sign up to be part of the inner circle. Thank you for listening. Have a beautiful and rejuvenating week till next time.
50:47
Speaker
Bye bye.